"Walking" With Sparkle

Well, we've had Sparkle for almost a month now. We are new to this dog ownership thing. Of course, she needs to go on "walks" several times a day. You could say Sparkle "walks" in the same sense that a housefly "flies" - seemingly random and not straight for very long. Nancy and Mark are out of town for a couple of days, so I get walking duty. This is how it goes:

Me:	Sparkle, do you want to go out?
Sparkle:	Is it time to go out?!! Is it?!! I'm ready! Let's go now! Hurry up! Open the door! Let's go in the car! I want to go in the car! No?!! OK! Let's walk in the street now! Stop! I hear something! Someone's pulling out of their driveway! Let's watch! I smell something! Over here! Hurry up! Now let's go over there! I'm going #1... no, yes right here! Hey look at that! Hurry up! Let's go over there! Did you hear that?!! It's a dog! He's on the other side of that field! Let's go through that field! No?!! Wait!! There's some tall grass! I want to eat some! Now let's go! Wow smell that?!! Let's go see! It's a dry turd! Let's sniff it! Ow! Don't yank so hard! OK hurry up! Stop! What was that noise?!! Oh well let's go! I'm going #2 right here! What's the matter?!! All finished! Hurry up! Hey there's a grasshopper! Let's catch him! Wait I smell something! Let's go see! Here it is! It's a dead toad! And so on.
Me:	I want to go home.

Next week, Sergei can take her on walks. Oh, did I mention that Sergei's coming to visit us? More later.