Showing posts with label Orphans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Orphans. Show all posts

Friday, January 30, 2009

Greener Pastures

I get into these moods.

I intended to post about the joy of getting our court decree today, making it official that Valentina Grace Louise and Sergey Alan Gordon are our children forever. I have indescribable joy that 18 months of labor, prayer, and passion for 2 children we had never met, has come to this. Soon we will all go home to America, and leave this all behind.

Or will we?





I have unforgettable images etched in my mind, movie reels that play back when I don't expect them. A glimpse, a smell, a sound, brings it back.

How about our kids? How do they leave behind a significant portion of their lives? How do they forget the images, experiences, the emotions of life in the orphanage?

I will be leaving Ukraine different than when I came.





Because I have felt pain and humility at the orphanages that I have visited while in Ukraine. The gracious and loving children that do not deserve to be where they are. Even so, almost always able to share a smile. At least for now.






I think about the girl that was pushed off the steps by a boy, fell down on to her back onto the rough jagged concrete beneath, and ran limping around the building where no one could see her cry. Having no one to run to for comfort.





I think about the girl who looked at me and Mark longingly, speaking a thousand words with her sweet face, not once, but over and over.





I think about another American family here that made arrangements to remove their new son from the orphanage out of fear for his safety, because of jealous bullies.





I think about the 14 kids who unselfishly shared their Christmas candy with me, as they would lay it out on the floor, their treasure, every piece counted and recounted.





I think about the ones that would greet me with a smile and outstretched hand as I arrived, honestly glad to see me. The 14 kids that would come to me and say Thank you, in English, for the banana.





I think about the boy who suffered indescribably as he was set on fire by the other street kids as he slept. And yet, smiles when he sees me. And not just me.





I think about these jewels, hidden away from their society. Like discarded diamonds. Behind concrete walls and iron gates. People walking and driving by every day oblivious.





Hope keeps these children going. Hope that someday, someone will come for them. But it rarely happens at this age. Maybe today will be the day they're surprised by the visitor that wants them. Someone has come to take me out of here, to a better life! No, well then maybe tomorrow.





I question God, why don't you do something about this, and the King of Glory reminds me, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.

I understand better, now, St. Francis,

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
And Amen. I will be leaving Ukraine different than when I came. In many ways.


All of the images were taken at Orphanage #4 in Odessa, January 28, 2009.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Goodbye to a Classmate

Wow I am behind on my blogging again! You would think that being on my own in Ukraine there would be lots of time, but surprisingly, no.

Today is Day 7 of our 10-day waiting period. Sergey had been counting the days since court and was sure that we would be going to America on Friday. I had to disappoint him by telling him, that no, after the waiting period comes yet more waiting as we do more paperwork. "Soon," I told him, "remember how many weeks it has been since Karina had court." And about Karina...

Even though it is Monday, I want to post about last Friday. As is customary, I visit Sergey's Orphanage #4 for a couple of hours each weekday. Last Friday was a special day, though, because it was the day that the Nasekos family was taking Sergey's classmate, Karina, out of the orphanage for the last time. They threw a going away party for her. As you can expect, it was a bittersweet time. Older children, I think, realize that their time is running out for a family. They put on a happy face, but inside I know that it is painful for them. You may have moved, or known someone who has, and experienced the sadness of saying goodbye to a friend. It is that, and more for the orphans, since in many cases, their friends are their family. The years accumulate, a friend leaves, and they wonder, "Why not me? What's wrong with me?"

Sometimes in the blogs you'll read something like, "Today we sprang so and so out from the orphanage." Well, I just don't think it is that simple. Someone once said that the hardest part of an adoption is the day that you watch 100 eyes watch you leave.

I won't share too much information about the Nasekos family, because that is their place, not mine. You can see their blog post. I will only say that Karina put a lot of thought into how she wanted her party to be. I know she has seen her share of them.

The kids had a nice time, and I count myself privileged to have been able to be there to share the Nasekos' joy. I was also able to be a somewhat neutral observer of the saying goodbye to a friend. There was a girl in particular who had to watch her best friend go.

While I will be thrilled to take Sergey home, I will probably be an emotional wreck when I have to say goodbye to these dear children. I have gotten kind of close to a few of them in these last two months that I've been visiting #4. I've seen them on their good days, and their bad. I see that children are the same everywhere, desiring love and security from a family. Oh! how I wish that I could be sure that they would get one someday... Almost all adopting families want small children... The chances for older kids like these of being adopted are almost 0... I know that, but they don't... And they hope...

The other day I was telling someone that Ukraine has a way of making the powerful feel powerless. No matter what status you have in America, or how many people jump at your command, it means nothing in Ukraine. I'm not saying that I'm powerful back in America, because I'm not, but I just want to fix everything, and I can't. But the Bible says that in my weakness, I am strong. Because God starts where I end. This is where I find myself. At the end of me and the beginning of Him. Let His name be praised. Not mine. I think that's the way He wants it.


Here are some pictures from Friday.


Quite by concidence, upon arrival at #4 we ran into Dr. Vincent Rosini, the CEO and Chairman of the Board of the hosting organization, Frontier Horizon. Both Sergey and Karina were hosted out by FH last summer. FH graciously approved our hosting Sergey last August in a complicated hosting situation. I was surprised how well Dr. Vinny knew Sergey and Karina, recognizing them immediately. He even knew who I was even though we've never met before. He was glad to see Sergey and Karina with families. Dr. Vinny was at #4 working out details for hosting next summer.



Sergey and Andrei helping to put away some donated clothing.



Preparing the table. The kids were very careful to ensure that everyone got the same portions.



Grandma Lela, an American missionary, came to the party. Here she is shown with Luba. Grandma Lela has been a faithful advocate for the children, ensuring that they get medical care that the administration would otherwise not provide for them. Lela has prayed for Karina to have a family ever since she was in 1st grade. She also shares the gospel with them and her Odessa church helps them after they age out of the orphanage. I thank God for her.



Orphanage #4's 6th grade class. Three of the kids were missing - in the hospital, I think.



Karina and Kristina with their primary supervisor, Nataliya. Grandma Lela said that years ago they had another supervisor who yelled at the children all of the time. Lela confronted her over it, but it didn't help. Lela says she "prayed her out" and Nataliya replaced her. The kids love her. The first day we came to Odessa to see Sergey after our SDA appt, the first picture he wanted was of him with Nataliya.



The table is ready, time to gather.



Saying a prayer before the meal. Before the prayer, Karina spoke, and each of the kids said something to Karina. Nataliya gave an emotional message. She has been with her almost daily for several years. Matthew gave a short gospel message through an interpreter, then prayed for the kids.



The Nasekos' brought gifts for all the children, Karina was handing them out. Little Eva, the orphanage director's daughter, suddenly appeared. She always seems to know where the action is!



Here's a picture of Luba that I love. She has a beautiful smile. She is more introverted and pensive than the other kids, and is kind of a loner. She reminds me of me. Maybe that's why I connect with her. The other kids are sometimes unkind to her. Today (Monday), I had to get after Sergey for something he and a couple other boys were doing. All of the earthly possessions the kids own are in their closet, like you see here, often in only a shoebox.





Playing games, loud music, and fun, even a little dancing.



Time to clean up. It ALWAYS amazes me how responsible the kids are. They work very hard and don't have to be hounded for anything.



One last visit with Karina. Karina is Sasha's best friend. She's the one in grey. I've been told that Sasha is a champion rock climber. I think she is the champion of the whole Odessa region for her age. I guess they have a climbing wall at the orphanage. Today, when I went to #4, Sasha was sitting by herself on a little chair in the dark next to a window that overlooks the front entrance. She looked very lonely. At the time I just waved to her and said hi as I went past her. Such is the male in me. But now I regret that. I'm going to try to think of a gift to take her. Maybe some flowers. Alyona is the girl on the couch. She very badly wants a family. She has won awards for singing and knows some English, since she was hosted in America last summer. One day back in December, when we had Mark along, we were sitting on the floor and Mark was reclining against me and I had my arm around him. Several times I caught Alyona looking back at us. It was very pitiful. Sheila Nasekos had told me that she was having a difficult day that day. Here Luba is dancing to the loud music.



On her way. Today is Karina's day! Last hugs and they're off. I watched them walk down the long hallway to the exit so that I could see it from this side. Next time, we will be the ones taking that long walk. I'm already praying about it...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Saturday

Not much going on here right now. We were planning to spend the weekend at Valya's orphanage in Andreyevo. But there was a huge ice storm Thursday night and the area around Andreyevo was hit hard. You may recall in the last post where I told you how our driver went into the ditch while delivering a document for us. Well, the rain continued on all night and coated everything with a thick layer of ice. Yesterday, our facilitator told us that all of the Odessa oblast (state or region) was under storm warnings, except for the city of Odessa. There is one more document we need to pick up from Mikolaevka and we were not able to do that, so that will delay our court appt. a little. Now, we probably won't be able to retrieve that document until Tuesday, when we go up there again. As far as I know, this is the final document that is needed to send up to Kiev for final adoption approval. Our facilitator ensures us that we will have no problem with the SDA.

It looks like everything is falling into place for us regarding approval for Valya's adoption. Nothing is certain here, however, and I will believe it when I see it. There was a lot of drama and uncertainty the last three weeks, and we are thankful for your support, encouragement, and prayers.

The drama in our apartment has been the lack of internet. We finally got it turned on late in the evening on Friday. Yesterday morning I put in some much needed hours at work. I am now out of vacation time. Every hour I work is another bit of pay for us. Nancy is a bit stressed about this, I not so much. God has brought us this far, it will all work out in the end.

Friday afternoon, we went over to Orphanage #4 to see Sergey and their St. Nicolas (Nikolai) program. Some of the kids sang, and others played their accordians. It was great to see their talent. There is a girl in Sergey's class (6th grade here), Karina, who is a very talented singer. She is being adopted by the Nasekos family, who is also here in Odessa right now. They stayed in the apartment with us for a time but are elsewhere now. We often run across them as there are limited visiting hours. The Nasekos' brought roses for all of the girls in Karina's class and gave them after the program. There will be another progam on Monday for Christmas (I think), then another one on Friday, for New Year's. The children have been busy preparing for 3 programs within a week. They memorize everything.

Yesterday, Grandma Lela, her driver, us, and Sergey, had a late lunch together. We received permission to take him from the orphanage for a couple of hours. It seems weird that he will be our child, and everyone knows it, but it is near impossible to take him out. Grandma Lela was able to pull some strings. Lela asked Sergey where he wanted to go, and we went to a cafeteria restaurant nearby.

In the evening, Nancy and I left Mark at the apartment and went downtown by ourselves. We took our flash drive down to a photo shop to get some prints made, and visited the Aphena Galleriya. This is a 6 floor mall that is very nice inside. Nancy needed some therapy for herself so she wandered in stores for as long as she wanted. I sat downstairs in the food court goofing around with pictures on the computer.

In Thursday's post, I mentioned how the exchange rate was climbing and was over 9 grivna to the dollar. Overnight it tanked. On Friday it was at 6.5. There are rumors in some places that banks were running out of grivna at the high exchange rate. No one seems to know what is going on. We had been accustomed to only exchanging a couple day's worth of money at a time, as the rate had been continually going up. Now it has fallen around the country and everyone wishes they had exchanged more on Thursday. We wonder what will happen next week.

Today, we will hang out at the apartment. It is too cold to do much outside, which is a shame as there is lots to see here. We will go downtown tonight for English church in someone's home. These people are missionaries, school teachers, and employees of American companies with business here. Oh and of course American families here to adopt.

Tomorrow, we will stay in Odessa so that we can see Sergey's program. Then, we hope, up to Andreyevo for a couple of days to have extended time with Valya and her friends. I plan to take lots of pictures so you can get an idea what it is like up there.

I promised to post some pictures onec we got broadband internet. So here are some, they are kind of random. Remember you can click on them to make them bigger.



Here is a picture of a woman receiving a speeding ticket in front of our apartment in Odessa. Here, the policemen do not sit in their cars like they do in America. They park the car and stand next to the road with a little handheld radar gun, about the size of a camera with a big lens. If they want to stop you, they have a baton that they point and wave at you and you need to stop. It is very efficient. They can stop three cars this way and give them all tickets simultaneously. They do this even out along the main highways, which look like interstate highways in America. This time of year, the policemen wear heavy thermal overalls with reflective material on the sleeves and legs. They are very visible and everyone highly respects them. On December 1st, a whole bunch of new traffic laws went into effect regarding speeds, number of passengers, seatbelts, price of fines, and other things. It is very expensive to have a violation now. Oh and the woman pled her case to the policeman but in the end was unsuccessful.



The Christmas Tree truck has arrived. They celebrate Christmas Jan. 7, not Dec. 25.



The streets of Kiliya. Kiliya is a mid-sized city in the far southwest of Ukraine along the Danube river. The Danube snakes a long way through Europe and empties into the Black sea near here. The river forms the border between Romania and Ukraine. We needed to visit Kiliya as that is where Valya's sister's orphanage is located. The streets were interesting to me because they were constructed of what must have been hundreds of thousands of preformed concrete slabs. It is a terrible way to make a street - it was incredibly jarring to drive on. But then the Soviets had a way of doing things didn't they.



This is the government building in Kiliya. This is where we were expecting to pick up the Inspector to take her to the orphanage for a tense meeting. As it turns out, instead of coming out with the Inspector, our facilitator came out with the document we needed in just a couple of minutes. It was a miracle.



This is the highway to Kiliya. Or so we thought. Actually, we drove 1/2 hr. down this road only to find out it is not the one. We had to turn around and backtrack to get to the correct one. There are very few road signs and even fewer highway markers. In America it seems like there is a highway marker every mile. Here, there are few to none.



Here are a couple of Orthodox churches under construction out in the country. It is surprising to me, or maybe not I guess, that there is money to build these beautiful churches even when the economy is such a mess here.



People in this area love fish. The markets are full of all kinds - fresh, smoked, and canned. You can even get little fish snacks. Kind of like fish jerky. Here I am with little dried fish snacks. They take alot like...dried fish.



In a notary's office in Odessa. Notaries here are different than notaries we have in the US. Here, they are actually lawyers that draw up documents. In this picture, our dossier that we assembled in South Dakota is sitting on her desk. Our facilitator takes it with her wherever she goes, to present to various people as needed. After your original SDA appointment in Kiev, the SDA will give it back to your facilitator for use in-region. The documents in the dossier are each sewn to their Ukrainian translation sheets, and the complete set is sewn together like a book. The loose ends of all the threads on every document, and the bundle, are taped and stamped with multicolor seals that make it impossible to disassemble it without it being obvious. The little shiny black book to the left of the dossier is something like a journal. I am not kidding every document that was typed out was almost completely duplicated by hand in this book. Nancy and I would have to sign in like 4 different places in this journal, as well as the documents themselves. We always need to show our passports to the notary.



On one of the days we went to see Valya last week, we took her a little gift bag, which had some garland in it. She wanted us to take pictures wearing it.



Tense moments waiting in the car in Rozdilna. Rozdilna is the place where Valya and her siblings are registered. In a throwback to Soviet times, citizens are registered in certain places. We waited in the car for 2 hours while our facilitator discussed things with the Inspector here and the SDA in Kiev. I suppose some day we'll laugh about it. But not yet. I have more pictures of Rozdilna, but I want to make a separate post about the place, because there is interesting history here.



Looking at an I-Spy book with Sergey at #4. The kids really like the book. Note, if your are coming here from America, bring one or two along with you.



Here are some of the kids putting a Lego set together. When the kids went to Kiev for the music field trip last week, they all received a Christmas present of some kind.



Luba and I. She is really sweet. She is gentle and never yells like the other kids. After we first met her, Mark commented that we should adopt her. But she is not adoptable as far as we know. We do know that she has several siblings.



Visiting with Valya last Thurday afternoon. Pictured with us is Lienna, our Ukrainian roommate. She translated for us. Here, we are working on English. We gave Valya a notebook to keep and study. And yes after 13 years I did shave off my goatee. I guess that is long enough.



This is Valya with her best friend Anya. Anya is 15 y.o. and it must be sad to see her best friend moving away. She would really like to come to America. But her time is running out, unless she has younger siblings. Mark is concerned about her and asked if we could adopt her. She is older than him yet he doesn't seem to mind. I don't know, that seems hard to fathom right now. Maybe some of our friends back in Mitchell? Hint hint. Mark understands what it is like to lose a best friend.



Playing with Valya. Hot Potato with her stuffed animals devolved into dodgeball.




Our driver did WHAT?!! He slid his car off the road due to icy conditions. We got more time with Valya than we were expecting. It was something of a tense drive out of Andreyevo later.



Our facilitator went to Rozdilna the next day without us and gave us a couple of pictures of the conditions there.



While they were getting ice and snow north of here, we were getting rain in Odessa. They do not have storm drains in Odessa, maybe nowhere in Ukraine. Soviet infrastructure is minimal. Whenever it rains, lakes and puddles forms everywhere. When we walk near Orphanage #4 we have to hop from island to island.



Picture with Sergey. I had to take several shots of this one. Just as I would take the picture, Sergey would tickle Mark in the ribs. He is quite a character.



Getting ready before the St. Nicolas Day celebration. Sergey wasn't part of the program, so he didn't need to change. Other kids in his class, did however. The dorms are locked up during the day and are only open during the evenings. So they were all changing clothes in their playroom. The girls kind of crouched behind the supevisor's desk, while the boys just changed their trousers in the open. There is a hangar in one of the closets with several pair of dark slacks on it. The boys pulled that out then looked for a pair that fit them. Their supervisor, Nataliya, shown in the picture, would help them. Dasha is shown here ironing her outfit. The kids are very responsible with their things. They do not have a parent to do things for them.



At the St. Nicolas Day program. There is an auditorium on the top floor. Some of the children participated in a program where they sang songs in Ukrainian. A couple of the boys played accordian solos. Here is Grisha. Afterward, the orphanage director gave a message. The concert was wonderful and their performance would have made any parent proud. How sad there were none, however, except for us and the Nasekos'. I recorded the whole thing on wide-screen DVD from the front row. If you're a family coming for one of these children soon, you can pay me large sums of money for a copy. But it will be so worth it. You see we have this big expense right now...






Grandma Lela came to the program. She is an American missionary who has been in Odessa about 15 years. She has given love to kids when there was no one else to do it. Many times she helps provide for their medical needs as well. She has prayed for these children for years and is thrilled when a family comes for them.



After the program, we had a time of visiting. Michelle came by with penpal letters. The kids love that. If you would like to be a penpal, send me an email and we'll see if we can get you more information.




Waiting for Sergey to come to take him to lunch. The have a wall with artwork. They have some good artists in the orphanage.



On the way to eat lunch. We had four of us in the back seat. Sergey needed to sit on Mark's lap.



Lunch with Grandma Lela and Igor, her driver today. Igor is a gentleman from her church.