Checking In

Just a quick post here to let you know that we're doing fine.

During June, Sergey and Valya were in summer school, which covered math. Next week, they start the July session where they will be studying reading and writing. We have had a private tutor for Valya, as well, for spelling and reading, and that has really been helping her.

Mark and Sergey have open gym for basketball, and Valya has open gym for volleyball. They are all looking forward to sports in school this coming year. Sergey also is on a rec league baseball team now.



Mark and Sergey were at boy scout camp all of last week. I did not go as I don't have much vacation time built up. I used it all up and then some during our adoption trips last winter. Nancy, Valya, and I did go camping down there last Friday night, though. Valya complained about sleeping in a tent, but I think she kind of enjoyed it. I marked it down as another first for her, in addition to the umpteen other things she does for the first time. For example, last month she let me teach her how to ride a bike, and now she loves it. Sergey, Valya and I went on a 12 mile ride a couple of weeks ago. We also got her into swimming lessons, and now she loves the city pool and goes as often as she can. Mark will be gone a total of 3 weeks at boy scout camp, as he is also gone two weeks as a councilor-in-training.

All three of the kids will be going to week-long Bible camp later this summer.

For the most part, we are keeping the kids busy with activities.

When we went to Rapid City a few weeks ago, I forgot my coat at McDonald's and I didn't realize it until the next day. When we went back to look for it, it was gone. The coat had our camera in it. I had some great pictures of the kids at Custer State Park and I lost them... very disappointing. Last week I finally got a new camera, so maybe I can post some pic's on the blog again.

Here's one from tonight at bedtime as we gathered for prayers.



We often pray for their friends back in Ukraine that they will get families. Valya says that sometimes the girls cry at night. When someone cries, her friends will crawl into bed with her. Sometimes there will be 4 in a bed... We also prayed for the Whaley's tonight. They took their son Sasha along with them to Ukraine on their adoption trip and he has run away. It is very sad. They are adopting two boys from Orphanage #4 in Odessa, whom Sergey knows.

Of Sergey's classmates that I spent time with last winter, I know of 4 that are now adopted - Karina Nasekos, Dasha Strainick, Grisha Fumia, and Lena Hoffman. How exciting to see them with families. 5 out of their 14 have left this year. It must be tough on the others.

Unfair

A big part of our responsibilities as parents is to teach our kids our faith. While we were finishing up the adoption process in Odessa, I was able to learn a little bit about their spiritual backgrounds.

I was talking with some people who had just returned from a trip overseas
and they could not stop talking about the people that they met -
people that we would describe you know, as "poor"
and yet they were struck with how filled with joy and peace
these people were
They said, "You know, at first we felt uncomfortable, you know, we have so much and they have so little"
but after awhile they started to wonder if in fact they weren't the ones who were actually poor
and so they said "We went to do a good work for them and yet we returned realizing that
we received more than we ever gave."

Both of the kids had been baptized into the Christian faith several years ago. Valya had a grandmother that had her baptized when she was little, and Sergey was baptized along with several other kids who were in a shelter before he arrived at Orphanage #4.

Success can be dangerous, can't it?
We get everything we wanted, only to discover that we're missing something that we had before.

After we came to America, I had asked Sergey about his faith, and did he trust Jesus as his Savior? He said yes, and I asked him how he came to receive Christ, since I have been to Orphanage #4 and I know it is anything but spiritual.

When we extend grace to others in their oppression whatever that may look like
we find out about the grace that God has extended to us.
So when Jesus talks about taking water to those who are thirsty
it isn't just about the necessity of getting water to those who need it,
it's about us being constantly reminded of the gift of water we've had all along.

He told me that Dana Defrees had prayed with him last summer when he was at camp. Wow! Dana is a teenager, and Pam is her mom. Pam has commented on our blog before, and has emailed me privately from time to time. They were on a short-term mission trip to Odessa last summer where they spent time with the kids, along with Grandma Lela.

This is ultimately about the far larger truth that if we each don't find some suffering
and do something about it, we may become miserable -
Our achievement, our education, our wealth, our time and our money -
they'll turn on us if we don't spread them around.

They have a blog called Passion for Ukraine, and it just so happens that the team is in Ukraine again right now! There are some pictures on their blog of Sergey and several of his classmates that I spent time with last winter.

Our lives are either more and more about us -
more stuff, more unsatisfying consumption,
or we're on a different path
and this is why Jesus talked so much about serving.

I am glad that the kids and adults are serving in this way. I am sure that in some cases, this will be the only opportunity that some of them will have to hear about the love of Christ.

May you find somebody who needs what you have
only to discover that they had what you needed all along.

There is a NOOMA video that talks about serving others. It just so happens that I got the link today in an email through Compassion International. I have interleaved quotes from this video by Rob Bell with mine because they go hand-in-hand. This is a powerful video! Will you choose to hang on to that which ultimately makes you miserable, or will you offer yourself to Him and be liberated?

Watch the video to see where the title to this post comes from.

"You Saved My Life"

When we were in Odessa, we visited a church attended by several college students and missionaries in Odessa. One of the American gentlemen I talked to was in Odessa specifically to minister to street kids. He told me that there are about 800 street kids in Odessa and the authorities mostly ignore them. That way they can sweep them under the rug and not have to admit the problem they have. He and a couple other people go out every evening at 10:00 PM and are out all night. I asked if I could go along sometime, but really, in the midst of our adoption process that really wasn't practical to be out all night. I regret not having the chance to do that, though. One of the times that Nancy, Mark, and I attended the church, one of the street kids actually attended the service. Unfortunately, he slept through much of the service. We were told he comes somewhat regularly.

Another reason I am interested in the street kids is because there was a boy in Sergey's class at #4 who was a former street kid and was severely injured in a tragic fire. He was sleeping in some kind of enclosure one night and some other street kids set his coat on fire as he slept. When he woke he had trouble getting out and was burning as he struggled. Somehow he survived and is now in the orphanage, getting treatment for his burns. We got to know him a little bit and noted his deformed hands and scars. He was always friendly to us.

I surfed into a blog of an American Presbyterian pastor named Robert Gamble, living in Odessa, Ukraine, who also has a ministry that reaches out to street kids called This Child Here. You may be interested in this ministry that is on the front lines in the battle for the Kingdom.

A couple of weeks ago, we were on a road trip out to the Black Hills to visit my mother who was visiting. We were talking with Sergey about his adoption and life back in Odessa, and he told Nancy and I that we saved his life. After looking at Pastor Gamble's blog, it is no wonder he feels that way.

Romaniv Boys Orphanage

Recently, Valya asked me if we could adopt her siblings. I was wondering when this day would come. She has four siblings back in Ukraine still. Two are already adults, but the other two are in two different special needs orphanages. They are twins, older than her. This situation was very difficult for us as we never felt like we could make them part of our family. In the end, the officials agreed, but the situation was very sad.

The other day, the Cornishes posted a link to this article about Ukraine's Romaniv orphanage. The article hits close to home for me.

Romaniv Boys Orphanage
by Barry Rodriguez
World Next Door

Answer to Prayer

Very good news today regarding Ukraine's possible moratorium on international adoptions. For "some reason", the vote just didn't show up on the parliament's calendar. We are thankful that Ukrainian children will still have another way to get families. I do not exagerate, I am sure there were thousands of faithful people around the world praying that this would not pass!

Capricious Ukraine

Word is getting out that this coming Tuesday, June 2, the parliament of Ukraine, the Verkhovna Rada, will be voting on a bill to cease allowing all foreign adoptions, except from Russia. Being this far away, it is difficult to know exactly what is behind it. There is certainly an element of national pride. No government likes to see its children shipped out to foreign countries. There is also an element of pro-West vs. pro-Communist/Socialist politics in Ukraine. The fact that Russia would be the only foreign country allowed to adopt seems very suspicious. As if that weren't bad enough, if the law passes, they say it will take effect immediately, and any families currently in Ukraine to adopt that haven't had court yet will not be able to continue. Think they wouldn't do that? Last year, they suddenly passed a law forbidding unmarried people from adopting. It went into effect immediately and all affected adoptive parents were not allowed to adopt. Our facilitator at the time told me about the women he saw at the SDA crying and pleading their cases to no affect. It is saddening to imagine having established a relationship with a child then being told they could not adopt. Now, we are on the verge of an even more serious development. Personally, I see nothing good coming from this, only bad, so let us pray that it does not pass and that President Yuschenko does not sign it if it does.

Here is an article in English from the Verkhovna Rada's official website.

The Fumia's are in Odessa now to adopt Grisha, a classmate of our son, Sergey. We put several pictures of him on our blog while we were at Orphanage #4. While we were in Odessa, I made sure I gave him a hug every day and I told him it was from Ashley. If this law passes next week, they will not be able to complete their adoption. It will be devestating, as they have been waiting 2 years to do this. Of course, they are not the only ones there right now. Among others, the Hoffman's are also there adopting another classmate of Sergey's named Lena. This is potentially a very grave situation. Ashley Fumia describes it in this post.

We were also minorly affected by the capricious politics of Ukraine last year. Though, it didn't seem minor at the time. About the time we finished our dossier, Ukraine passed a new quota on foreign adoptions for the year, limiting 2008 dossiers to 1,453. We did not make that cut and thought we were shut out for 2008. As it turned out, by the time October 2008 came around, they learned that they were coming in under the quota, so we suddenly found out that we made it in. We were fortunate; we had about two weeks to prepare, but some families had as little as 3 or 4 days notice to be there for their SDA appointment.

Nothing seems to ever be certain for long in Ukraine regarding adoptions. Please pray for this situation.


Here are a few pictures I took on a foggy morning in Kiev on Wed. Feb. 11 2009.

This is the parliament building, where the Verkhovna Rada, or Supreme Council, meets. On this day, they were in session and "friendly" policemen told me were I was allowed to walk. There is an Orthodox cross with a picture of the Madonna in front of the courtyard at the main entrance.




For momths, protesters were camped out in Independence Square, or Maidan as it is known there. At night, musicians would perform in front of these huts singing politcal songs. Basically, they are saying that Yuschenko's economic policies are a failure and they are demanding change in the national government.



On this day, Khreschatyk Street was closed off and a large, organized political rally was taking place in front of the Kiev City Hall. There are three main political parties at the national level, pro-West President Victor Yuschenko's Our Ukraine party, the socialist Prime Minister Yulia Timoshenko's Bloc Yulia Timoshenko, and the communist Victor Yanukovych's Party of Regions. None of them are getting along at all, and the Verkhovna Rada is the laughingstock of Ukraine because of their impotence. It appeared that there were hundreds or thousands of people that came in busses, as they were parked along the street forming a sort of barricade. Many of their bumpers were literally touching.



There were many colorful flags on display at the rally. Of note in these pictures are the white Bloc Yulia Timoshenko flags, the red Communist flags, and the blue and yellow Ukrainian national flags.

Marveling

We've been home with the Ukies for 3 months, but every once in a while I watch them and am amazed that they are part of our family.



The other day I was watching Valya walking down the hallway toward her bedroom, and it struck me how a year ago it was near impossible to envision her here. Back in Ukraine, I never believed that Sergey would be any problem to adopt, and he wasn't. Plus we had gotten to know him since he was Mark's penpal for awhile and we were able to have him stay with us for 2 weeks last summer. But Valya, she was a complete unknown. We hired a stranger in Ukraine to meet with her to find out if she wanted to be adopted... we waited anxiously to hear back from him... then were thrilled to get 4 small photos by email.



Then, when we were in Ukraine we didn't know for sure that we would be able to adopt her until probably 3-4 weeks after we got there... After we got word that all 12 or so of the officials in-region had agreed... I was talking once with our friend M in Odessa about Valya, and she commented how amazing it was that we came all the way from South Dakota and were plucking this girl out of the middle of nowhere in Ukraine. It was incredible - and still seems that way to me.

So, once in a while, I pause and take it all in, and marvel.

No Way... 3 Months?!!

May 15 marked the 3 month anniversary of bringing the kids home. I can't say Sergey has changed much, but Valya is at the point where every week her English skills keep getting better and better.

We arrived in Mitchell on a Sunday, and the kids were attending Mitchell Christian School the following Thursday. There was actually no school Monday or Friday that first week so it was a good time to get them in there. Of course, they thought they should have a couple of weeks off to "get used to America", but we decided against that! I told them that they had already missed at least 2 weeks of school, so it was time. Now, this coming Thursday May 21 is the last day of school. We will be leaving after work on a road trip to Rapid City, where they will get to meet their new grandparents for the first time (my mom and her husband).

We have the kids preregistered for summer school, they will go during June and July for four days a week from 8:30 to 11:30 am. June is math and July is grammar/reading/writing/English. Neither is happy about that at all!

The kids are doing well. We have discipline issues occasionally with both of them, but just normal stuff kids get in trouble for. A couple of weeks ago Valya had her first emotional issue, cried a good portion of an evening. We, Nancy especially, just did our best to comfort her. Mark was unkind to her about something, plus she was missing her family back in Ukraine, probably some other things. She was back to her usual chipper self the next morning.

Mark is also adjusting to having siblings, but it hasn't been easy for him. He is working through things his own way. We've seen improvement, though, since that issue with Valya.

Nancy and I are adjusting to a much busier life. More errands, more shopping, more food, more clothing, just more everything.

Though our Ukies are 13 and 14 years old, some days it feels like we have toddlers again. I won't go into details on the blog, though, since our kids look at it once in a while. In some ways they have a lot of catching up to do with age-appropriate behavior. But they are terrific kids and a real blessing to us.

As Valya's English skills increase, she is starting to tell us more about life in the orphanage. She told Nancy the other night how the girls in her dorm would cry at night because they had no one that loved them. She also asked Nancy the night before last why it took so long for us to come get her. How do you explain government quotas? That was unforgivable last year. Thankfully, it looks like this year there are no adoption quotas.

The three months since we have been home have gone quickly. I am looking forward to summer so that we can do more fun things as a family, instead of just homework every night. I am starting to get a little vacation time build up again. My two adoption trips to Ukraine really wiped it out.


Here are some pictures of things that have been going on the last couple of months.


At Easter, we visited one of Nancy's sister's family in Northern Minnesota.





When Valya has friends over, it is almost a sure thing that there will be girlie stuff like makeup and hair fixing done.


Valya's room. She has pictures of our time in Ukraine taped all over her dresser. Some of them are on our blog. On the nightstand next to her bed there is a picture of her with her orphanage director, taken the day I took her from her orphanage. She says that he is a good man.




Valya has discovered YouTube. She loves watching programs and videos from Ukraine. Yesterday she lost computer priviledges for not obeying Nancy and that was painful for her.



For one of his school assignments, Sergey gave a report about the Ukrainian famine of 1932-33. One of my first memories of visiting Ukraine was on the ride from the airport to our apartment, we passed a memorial in a park that was filled with candles and flowers. I asked my facilitator what that was and he said it was a memorial to the 3-10 million Ukrainians that Stalin starved to death.



Valya with some roses, they are her favorite flower. Later, she sprayed some perfume on them and learned that that will kill them.




Mark practices rifle target shooting. He earned the shotgun shooting merit badge in Boy Scouts. I haven't let Sergey handle the gun yet. He would love to but I don't have a good feeling about it. While we were waiting to go over and get Sergey, we had sent him the NRA publication called American Rifleman. It is full of articles and ads about guns. The orphanage boys loved it. Sergey showed it to us at the orphanage and it was pretty worn out.



Valya loves Nancy. Lately, as her English has been improving, we are getting more insight into her heart. She thanks God for this "good" family when we pray with her at bedtime.



Track season came to an end this last week. Mark and Valya both participated at the junior high level. This was the first organized sport that Valya had ever been in and it was a new adventure for her. She loves volleyball and is anxious for Fall for that sport. Mark especially loves basketball, while Sergey loves baseball. Baseball practice has been going for about 3 weeks now. They will have their first game in June.



Mark and teammates watch Valya compete.


Valya gets race instructions from a teammate. She and Mark worked very hard this season.



Waiting for yearbook pictures to be taken.



I felt sorry for the kids a couple of weeks ago. May 7th was Nancy's birthday, and May 10th was my birthday and Mother's day. 3 major present and card giving events in 4 days. The kids seemed to enjoy it, though.



Valya made Nancy's Mother's Day card. She is a good artist. Sometime I will post one of her drawings.







All of our kids were in Sunday school, which ended last week. Sergey and Valya participated in the grade school age program.


Valya has a bright pink feather boa. She stands out when she wears it to church!




For my birthday, we visited the Falls of the Big Sioux river, from which Sioux Falls gets its name. In the picture of Valya climbing up, there is a robin's nest. The mama was nearby squawking quite loudly to scare us away.







My birthday. Valya gave me a card with monkeys on it. It is a joke because I call her my monkey, since she can eat 5 bananas a day.

Question About Gifts

Tina asks,

Some people bring gifts for people... judge, translator, teachers, etc... Is this expected? What kind of things should we bring? I have seen examples such as: spoons, coasters or perfumes. Any other ideas??

Depending on how your facilitator schedules your fees to him/her, the major gift fees to the orphanage and others may or may not be built in to the fees you pay for facilitation. Your facilitator may ask you to provide other fees as well. Every adoption is different and has different challenges, so you never know for sure before you go exactly what kind of gifting you will be doing. An experienced facilitator knows what is expected in each region and the people there.

We did not directly offer to gift a judge, and I have no idea if our facilitator provided one. If so, it came out of our fees. Ukraine is cracking down on corruption in the judiciary so it's best not to offer anything. If there was a witness to it, it could get someone in a lot of hot water. Let your facilitator handle that.

The economy in Ukraine is a shambles. If someone has been super helpful and you truly appreciate what they did or are doing for you, cash and a box of chocolates or bouquet of flowers are always appreciated. A Mt. Rushmore spoon that you think is cool might not be appreciated. Who knows! If you decide to give a gift other than money, you can get it there. No point in taking it over from America. By the way, many consider the chocolate in America inferior to the Ukrainian chocolate!

Ukrainians are people just like you and me. Don't be haughty or insulting.


We bought a bouquet of flowers for Sergey's orphanage director. Sergey carried them on the 1 mi. walk from the flower shop to the orphanage.

Question About Cash

Tina Mitchell asks,

I have a problem. We will be going very soon. waiting for our appt. date. Waited to obtain the brand new money from the bank cz' 3 banks told me "no problem".."we can have it in 3 days"...course that is NOT true. Do the banks there accept $50 dollar bills? The banks here have more "newer" 50's than 100's. Are there any other alternatives? Thank you for any help.

Tina, we had about 3 weeks notice for our trip. We went to our bank, Wells Fargo, and they said they were getting a shipment in from the Federal Reserve and they would be getting enough to cover our request. So basically, we just "reserved" it until right before we left. So we had brand new bills, never circulated, that even had incrementing serial numbers. All of them were 100's.

The grivna is the official currency in Ukraine, but there is a shadow economy that uses dollars. There are many Ukrainians that have dollars somehow. Yes, you can take 50's, I even saw people exchanging 20's. The drawback, though, is the number of bills. There are twice as many 50's, of course, over 100's. That's a big deal when you're carrying them on your person in money pouches. You may find your facilitator will ask you to pay for a few things, such as arranged taxis, in dollars. I would recommend taking 5-10% of your money in 50's, the rest 100's.

As I mentioned, our money was brand new. Others have said used bills are OK as long as there are no rips or markings on them. If you have older bills, you can iron them to make them crisp like new again. Some also suggest withdrawing money daily from an ATM to get fresh bills. Others will make an appt. with the bank every week to sit down with an employee and go through stacks of bills, keeping the best ones.

You mentioned banks in your question. We never set foot in an actual bank over there. There are little exchange kiosks everywhere that there are people. You will have no trouble finding an Obmin Valyut, as they are called, because they almost always have a yellow sign posting the exchange rate.


Picking up our cash at the bank. Five piles of $5,000. You would think $25,000 would be more than this - about 1/2" thick stack of 100's.

Question About Police Clearance

Alycia Goody asks,

Can you please clarify what is required for the Police clearance for the dossier? Is there a need to include FBI prints, or will a local statement be acceptable?
Thanks you.

Alycia, you may have to get several sets of fingerprints. First, there will probably be a set that will be required for your homestudy. That will come from your state dept. of criminal investigation (whatever it is called where you live). That one will probably be ordered by your social worker and he/she/they will "own" the result. Then, you will need FBI fingerprints which are required for your I-600A, and thus, your I-171H. Finally, you will need a statement in your dossier itself, stating that you have no criminal background. So you will almost surely be getting a set of prints for that. I asked our State, if we just did our fingerprints for the homestudy, why do we have to redo them 2 months later? Their reply was that they destroy the prints after mailing the certification out.

Then, if you're like us, you might get to do 3 dossiers because of expiring, in which case you get to do the fingerprinting two more times besides these. What a pain that was for us.

As far as the Police Clearance, specifically, it will be a certified statement from the State, stating that you have no criminal past. It must be certified, equivalent to notorizing, otherwise you won't be able to get it apostilled.

Hope this helps!

Internet in Ukraine

I have an "open mic", so to speak, for you to ask me any questions you want about adopting from Ukraine.

Dave Baldacchino asks:

I read that you did work while there so I suppose you had reliable internet access. What did you use? Is wireless affordable & reliable? I guess that really depends where you are but thought of asking about your experience in general. I'd like to stay connected and perhaps keep writing on my other blog and do some extra work too/respond to work emails.

Yes, depending on where you go in Ukraine, it is easy to stay connected, at least with mail and blogging/surfing. What I had trouble with, though, was the VPN connection to our office back home. On our first trip, we stayed with a friend at her apartment in Odessa, which had broadband internet. Unfortunately, the service was intermittent. It would be up for 3 min. then down for 2. Up for 2 down for 3, etc. When you're web surfing or doing email, that's just annoying, but it works. However, to use a VPN, I had to log in to the VPN, then start up Remote Desktop, then log in to my computer, which takes a couple of minutes to do. Then the connection would go down and I would have to start over. That just didn't work at all. Another interesting thing that happened was that there was a power surge that destroyed their wireless router and the power supplies for two laptops (not ours, we weren't home at the time). I bought them a new router, they bought new power supplies for their computers and surge protectors! Lesson: Bring a surge protector along rated for 220V.


Using our two computers at our friend's apartment in Odessa.



On our second trip, we stayed at the Odessa Executive Suites, which had excellent internet. Except for about a 4 day period when it didn't work at all because someone stole some equipment at the ISP. I got a lot of work done while I was passing time during the waiting period after court, then early in the morning after I had the kids. When I was alone, there were several days that I never left the apartment, putting in 12-14 hour work days. Since we had two computers, I also had along a little $25 4-port hub that would allow up to 4 computers to share one network cable, in the event there was no WiFi. I did set it up at OES and gave it a try, and it worked, but in practice we didn't really need it because Nancy was only with me at OES for a couple of days before she went back home again. But if you are going to have two or more computers along, taking a hub or router with you is a must in case your internet access is through a network cable only. If you are in a larger city you could buy this there, but it is a hassle and will definitely be more expensive (for example, 20% tax on it).


Kids using the computer at OES. OES supplies a computer in the apartment complimentary, but I used my own. Just plugged the network cable in to mine.



We also had rented a cell phone while we were there from Lonnie Roland, which had internet capability. The phone plugged into my laptop computer with a USB cable and acted as a modem. This actually worked everywhere I tried it - from the car, the train, even from the Andreyevo orphanage when I stayed there overnight. The only drawback was the speed was slow - 56k, and it cost about 1 grivna/minute. So I used it sparingly. I could have used that for our VPN but it would have been very slow. I did, in fact, a couple of times, but only when I was desparate for internet because I had a timesheet due and it was the only way. Lonnie also had a 3G phone available but it was expensive and he couldn't guarantee that we would have 3G service available everywhere we would be going in Ukraine.


Installing the cell phone's modem software on my laptop after we arrived in Kiev and got the phone.


Nancy using the internet in Kiev through the cell phone.


I used the cell phone in the car to post to our blog on long boring trips to Andreyevo. You can see the phone on my leg.



Some have used a Blackberry or other phone to blog and email with. I guess that works but not for a VPN kind of thing. You'd also have to make sure your plan works in eastern Europe before you leave. I say eastern because a lot of times when companies say "Europe" what they mean is western Europe.

There are many internet cafe's in Europe, including Ukraine. We weren't able to find one, though, that let us use our own laptops, which we would have preferred. Also, sometimes they won't let you plug in your own flash drive or camera so that you can upload pictures. They are not very convenient sometimes but they do work when you absolutely have to have internet.

Wherever you will be staying in Ukraine, be sure to make it clear to your facilitator that you want internet access in your apartment. Sometimes they will get you the cheapest place if they don't know that you want internet.

One other thing I noted is that no airport we were in in Europe had WiFi. We were in airports in Kiev, Odessa, Budapest, Warsaw, and Frankfurt (I think London had it but we were in a hurry to get to our plane so I wasn't able to try it). Kind of a bummer when you have a bit of time to pass. One time in Kiev, my flight to Odessa was canceled on account of fog and the airport personnel were no help at all as to whether I would get a flight that day. I would have loved to have had internet then. I had forgotten my phone in the apartment on that trip.


I suggest that you get yourself a little scanner to scan in documents as souvenirs. You won't have them in your possession for very long and once they're given to the next official, you'll never see them again.


The largest "billboard" I've ever seen for a cell phone. This is an ad for Samsung cell phones on the highway from Kiev to the Borispil airport.

Do You Have Questions For Us?

I saw this idea on another blog recently and I like it. If you are like me, when you were prepping your dossier or getting ready to go over to Ukraine, you have questions that no one is answering or you can't easily find the answers. I want to give you this opportunity to ask me and I will see if I can answer it. Go ahead and ask anything at all related to the dossier, our Ukraine trips, our adjustments, whatever. If I don't know the answer, or out of respect for our family's privacy, can't share it, I will say so. Then again, perhaps another reader may know the answer or is willing to share.

Just leave a question in the comments. I get emails when someone posts so I know that I won't miss it.

I spent 2 1/2 months in Odessa, so I may be able to be helpful. It's a shame to waste experience, so ask away!

Emmanuel Radio

You may be interested in the Emmanuel internet radio station that comes out of Kyiv with Christian programming. It is evangelical in nature.

We have a laptop computer in our kitchen and I will often put it on in the morning as I'm fixing breakfast for the kids. I wouldn't say that they're crazy about it but they do enjoy hearing programming from back in Ukraine. Plus I know that they are hearing a positive message to encourage their faith. The music seems to vary quite a bit so I think that is why it's not their first choice for music.

Anyway, check it out. It may be especially useful for your family if your kids don't speak much English yet.

You can choose to display the website in English, Russian, or Ukrainian. Click on the broadcast 128 kbps link on the left of their main page.

(Pre) Judging Susan

OK you're more interested in adoption stuff but I really wanted to post this one.

Susan Boyle is making headlines over here and around the world. Her story is a lesson in prejudging people.

Susan is a 47 y.o. Scottish woman with a dream to be a professional singer. By first appearances that would seem unlikely. BUT... see for yourself.

From this BBC article,

"Last Saturday, viewers saw Boyle, with double chin, unkempt hair, frumpy appearance and eccentric demeanour, step onto the talent show stage and proclaim her dream of being a professional singer.

The judges rolled their eyes and the audience pulled incredulous faces. Onlookers, on set and at home, were rubbing their hands at the prospect of another hopeless, deluded loser being crushed by a withering Simon Cowell insult."

All five of us were standing around the laptop tonight watching the video. The YouTube video has been viewed over 100,000,000 times, currently in 2nd place for all time views. Sergey couldn't understand what the big deal is. Nancy tried to explain to him that the whole world was surprised at how well she sang when she is not pretty like that female judge on the program.

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV)

The Grand Total

I've been furiously working on taxes, finally got that done last night. As part of that process, I tallied up the final cost of our adoptions of Valentina and Sergey. Total adoption expenses from 2007-2009 were:

$48,640.88

Ouch!

Our Valentina

I put together a slide show of some recent pictures of Valya. We have more pictures of Valya than of Sergey, because frankly, Sergey doesn't like to have his picture taken too much.

Valya has a distinctive little mole on her upper lip that will always be endeared to me. We had specifically petitioned for her and Sergey at our SDA appointment on Thanksgiving day, last Nov. 27. At the appointment, they showed us two data sheets of the kids that each had a little postage stamp sized picture in the corner. When the lady showed us Valya's, she asked, Is this her? Well, the picture was 7 years old, and the child in the picture had her head completely shaved. It did not look like the Valya we had seen in pictures, except... for that little mole. When I saw that I knew it was her!

The snowy pictures in the later slides were from last Saturday. Our balmy Spring weather has been replaced by snow, but it is beautiful. Now it is warming up again, and quickly disappearing. Valya loves snow and tells me about the way they used to play in it at her intyernat. How blessed we are to have a girl who loves snow, because we do get it here in the Winter. Next season, we'll go to our sledding hill, plus see if we can teach the kids to ski. You people in Colorado I hear you laughing... But we do have a little bit of skiing available in South Dakota! In those pictures she is wearing the coat that I bought her in Rozdilniya and gave to her the day that we took her from her orphanage. You'll see her wearing that coat in our pictures in Odessa and Kiev and the video along the Black Sea last February. But she doesn't wear it too much anymore because now she likes bright colors.

Her English is improving. It is good getting to know her a little more every day. She has a story to tell about her life and we are anxious to hear it. We are getting some of it in little pieces already and it is a sad one.

When you adopt kids there is a time of bonding. It is a two-way street. We often talk of how the kids are bonding with the family, but we also are bonding with them. I think, every day, our love grows stronger for these two gifts that God has given us.

Adoptions News in Ukraine

You may be interested in these interviews with Ludmila Volynets, the director of the SDAPRC, and her boss, Yuri Pavlenko, the Minister of Ukraine for Family, Youth and Sport. I found this article in English over at Sonia Paz Baron-Vine's blog.

Some highlights:

Pavlenko:

• The number of adopted children has finally exceeded the number of bereaved ones.


• In 2008, the number of children adopted by citizens of Ukraine climbed above 2,000; 14 of them were HIV-positive.


• 1,500 applications have lately been filed by the Ukrainians, intending to adopt.


• According to new laws that took effect Dec. 1, 2008, officials at all levels are now personally liable for every particular child’s destiny.


• The Ministry is critical of facilitators (middlemen).


• International adoption can by no means be prohibited, but they clearly give a higher priority to national adoption.


• They have no children less than three years old available for adoption.


• Foreign families adopt either children over 7 years old or severely disabled ones.

Volynets:

• The Hague Convention would be a great benefit in the matter of a full-fledged protection for children adopted by foreign families, and counteraction to corrupt facilitators.


• Her primary objective is to make changes in mass consciousness of Ukrainian society.


• 14% of Ukrainians think themselves ready to adopt orphans into their families.


• Pressure is being put on her personally by foreigners who deem the state’s adoption policy inadequate.


• Prospective adoptive parents do not very well comprehend that the SDA is not to be subject to their whims.


• The SDA’s primary objective is to find a family for the child, not a child for the family.


• The SDA is subject to law, it does no good to complain to them about the laws set by the Parliament, "we are to obey the law and not to discuss it".


• She thinks it is a mistake that Ukraine is not a signatory to the Hague Convention on adoption, but they will be soon.


• Regarding corruption complaints, as private persons, facilitators are protected better than public officials.


• There are more complaints against facilitators, than against public officers; most of the complaints are filed by foreign citizens.


• The facilitators sometimes do not inform the adoptive parents of the child’s disabilities, or vice versa.


• Ukraine needs adequate laws and time so as to establish order and eliminate the abnormal profits drawn by facilitators.


• She is certain that no corrupt practice can ever be exercised in the SDAPRC.

Adoptions News in Ukraine
Sonia Paz (Pachi) Baron-Vine

Home Life

Well we have been home for 5 weeks, thought I'd give you an update on how it's going around here with the kids.

The kids, I think, have been adjusting well to life in America and our family. They are well-behaved so far and are doing well in school, or as well as we can expect.

We enrolled Valya and Sergey at Mitchell Christian School, which is where Mark has attended since he was in preschool. Wow, now we have $1,000 per month tuition. That is painful, but worth it as I can't imagine our kids in a government school.

Valya is in 6th grade here, while Sergey is in 5th. They are both 2 years below where their ages say they should be, but neither child is able to be one grade up, let alone two. It will be interesting to see if they will be able to make up time during the coming years or if they will always be two years behind. I don't like the thought of them graduating from high school at 20 years old, but I suppose it is possible. We plan to enroll Valya in summer school this year, not sure about Sergey yet. Overall, they both enjoy school and their teachers say they don't get into trouble. Valya spends 2 hours a day using Rosetta Stone to learn English. One of those hours, she has a female high school student with her as well to help tutor. Valya is now on the 2nd of the 3 Rosetta Stone disks. At home, her English is getting better. We haven't reached that point yet where she has really taken off, but we can tell she understands MUCH more than she is willing to speak. She is quite a drama queen so it should be interesting when she starts REALLY talking to us!

The kids have the week off this week as it is Spring Break. The school shuts down because the Juniors go on a mission trip every Spring. They went to Jamaica.

Mark and Valya are both in track. Valya will be running jr. high, while Mark will be competing at the high school level. They have workouts every day after school for at least an hour. Valya's coach is trying to teach her to pace herself. As far as I know, she has never participated in an organized sport. She loves volleyball and is anxious for that to start in the Fall.

Sergey is now in Boy Scouts, and his new patrol was just inducted into the troop last Tuesday. He will be going to Boy Scout camp this summer for a week.

Both of the kids have made some good friends. In fact, Valya stayed overnight last night at a friend's house. Sergey has had a friend stay overnight with him here.

Gradually, the kids' taste in food has been adapting to ours. Initially, it was challenging to find things that Valya would eat but that has been getting easier. Valya usually won't eat the school lunches, so we have to give her something to take to school. She especially loves fruit. Valya would eat 10 bananas a day if we let her. When we first got home she would hide them in her room! We have gone through a case of Clementines a week since we've been home, and untold grapes, plums, pears, and apples.

We have the kids attending Sunday School and youth group at our church. They have been enjoying that. Both of the children were baptized into the Christian faith, Valya as a baby, and Sergey about 5 years ago. I posted Sergey's story before. Speaking of which, Sergey recently wrote a letter to his Godmother in Russian, which I scanned in and emailed to her. She was wondering how it was going for him and was glad to hear from him.

We have had very nice Spring weather since we have been home, even with temps up into the 70's, but today we are having a blizzard. Seems like that happens every Spring in South Dakota. Mark and Valya's first track meet of the season was supposed to be today but was canceled.


Here are some pictures.


A couple of days after we got back, Nancy took Valya over to see the Tolly's. Lienna and Tanya were from Valya's orphanage, and it was through the Tolly's that we learned of Valya. She doesn't realize it yet, but she owes a lot to them for their part in finding her a family. This picture shows 2 of the 4 Tolly girls, Tanya and Morgan.




Here is Valya with one of her friends, Ellie. We painted her room bright colors and she loves it. We ordered the bedroom set from JCPenney catalog, but the night stand was backordered and now has been discontinued. Figures. Now we are looking for one for her that will match her new pieces so that she can have a clock and lamp next to her bed. We ordered the pieces while we were home between our two adoption trips in January. That red bag on the bed is the one that I got her at the Privoz market in Odessa the day that I took her from her orphanage. It still has the Lufthansa ID tag attached.




Playing Uno a couple of days after coming home.




The weekend after we got back home, Mark had an 8th grade basketball tournament that lasted a good part of a Saturday. Valya and Sergey came and watched. Valya especially enjoyed the snack bar. Here is Mark in a shootout.




Nancy's sister, Karen, was not able to meet us at the airport when we arrived. She and 3 of her 5 children did come down to Mitchell from northern Minnesota to stay with us for a couple of days. Valya and Sergey got to meet yet three more of their new cousins, Britta, Sophie, and Isaac. They adopted their little boy a year ago, and are in the process of adopting another little one.





Valya with our dog, Sparkle.




Valya with some more of her friends, Kelsey and Kaitlyn.




Valya at home, and on the trampoline. When we first arrived, Energy Girl would get up in the morning and jump on the trampoline before school. Now, she will come home after track practice and jump for a 1/2 hour. And jump vigorously, kicking her legs, throwing her arms, doing flips, running circles. I don't know how she does it.




Sergey at Lake Mitchell.




On one of the nicer Saturday's recently, Sergey and I went on a bike trek to the James River and had a picnic. I showed Sergey some trees damaged and killed by beavers.






Nancy's sister, Valerie, and some of her family stopped in as they were passing through the area, and got to spend some time with the kids.




Here is Sergey working on a Merit Badge for Boy Scouts. He was inducted into Troop 75 recently.





Valya discovered Mark's old scooter in the garage and likes to ride it. I have offered several times to teach her how to ride a bike but she refuses. One time when I wasn't home she got on it by herself and crashed and banged up her leg and foot bad enough that she couldn't run track.




It's never dull when Valentina's around.




Last week, our school had their Fine Arts festival. Mark is in 8th grade and gave his last ever speech for this. He has been doing them since 1st grade. He spoke on his "Spiritual Benchmarks". One of the points in his speech was how he saw God move for us during our adoption trip in December. Sergey read a piece called, "Where is Heaven?" and received a Superior rating. He did a very nice job. I told him that if I had to read Russian I would have received an Inferior rating!




Valya didn't participate with her classmates because she can't speak or read English yet. Here she is with her 6th grade teacher, Miss Fenske.




Here's a picture of all of us together at the school. The week after we got here, we posed for a professional portrait. Our church delayed the church directory until we could get back to have our portrait taken. That was very nice of them.

Ukrainian Baby Boom

I have posted before about the demographic problem in Ukraine. There is some recent positive news about the birthrate.

"Yushchenko stated that the birth rate in the country has considerably increased. The number of children born per year has risen from 413,000 in 2005 to 510,000 in 2008. As a result, the country’s demographic situation has returned to its early 1990s levels, which in itself is a reason for optimism."

Ukrainian Baby Boom
By Vadym Ryzhkov
The Day, Dnipropetrovsk

Done with a Big Project

I have had this project at work since October 2008, started just before we left for our adoption trip in November. I needed to make progress on this all during our "vacation" in London and both of our adoption trips to Ukraine. My company has a VPN and I was able to remote into the computer at my desk in Mitchell, wherever we were in the world. That is, wherever we had fast internet. When I remote in, I see my desktop, just as if I were sitting at my desk.

I think back to all of the mornings in Odessa, first when we were staying with our friend M at her apartment, then on our second trip in the Odessa Executive Suites, where I would get up early to work. When we were at M's, at times we had up to 8 of us staying in this small apartment (3 roommates, Matt & Sheila Nasekos, and Nancy, Mark, and I). They have a very small water heater and if you wanted a hot shower, getting up early was the best time to get one. So many mornings I would get up at 5 or 5:30, shower, and work before the adoption tasks with our facilitator.

Then over at OES, during our 10-day wait after Nancy went back to America, I worked 12 or 14 hour days (until our internet went out when someone stole equipment at the ISP). There was a couple of days I never even left the apartment. After I got Valya and Sergey, I worked every morning from about 3:00 or 3:30 until they would get up at 7:30. That was very tiring. I usually fell asleep on the couch for an hour right after supper while they would watch movies, then everyone to bed again at 9:00. Since we've been back home, all of my extra time has been spent on it (instead of blogging!). Now, yesterday, at 4:00, I finally finished it and it is definitely a relief.