We Left One Year Ago Today, Nine Months Home

I don't have to tell you how time flies, you already know that, of course. One year ago today we left for our first adoption trip, the first of two. 2½ months later our adoptions were complete. It seems like yesterday. Our SDA appointment was on Thanksgiving Day 2008. We spent it in the food court at the underground mall called Globus, in Independence Square in Kyiv. Amazing.

Last Sunday, the 15th, also marked 9 months home with our Ukies. On Friday the 13th I was thinking back to the Friday the 13th in February this year, the day we completely finished our tasks in Ukraine. We flew home the next day. Also amazing.

Nobody leaves expecting their adoptions to have problems or to take a long time. But sometimes you get blindsided over there and run into issues you never expected. Well, you do what you have to.

I suppose with time my feelings for Ukraine and our adoption trips will fade, but right now they are still very strong. With the help of our blog and our pictures (we have 3,104 of them!), I still remember everything like it was yesterday.

I want to give a brief update of how our family is doing lately. If I had to summarize, I would say we are taking the bad with the good. While things are usually good, we have had incredibly frustrating times as well. Not totally unexpected but still frustrating as parents. This also isn't necessarily because 2 of our 3 kids recently came from orphanages, but because we now have three teenagers whose total age range spans only 13 months.

Our Ukrainian kids are very dramatic. If something crosses Valya the wrong way she will stomp off to her room and slam the door. It doesn't take her long to get over it though and she often will be out in 5 minutes or so. Sergey is more moody. He is intensely jealous of Valya. We are learning to be more balanced in the attention we give to the children, but on any given day, who knows. We cannot leave the two of them alone. Ever. Because they will fight, or at least be mean to each other. While it appears that Valya is trying to be more conciliatory toward Sergey, the same cannot be said yet of him toward her. He is very wounded and he usually takes it out on her. Not to say that she wasn't guilty after we first arrived, but it seems she is moving beyond that. Mark is, I think, finally adjusting to the new kids. He has always been quiet, and still is, but he doesn't seem to react as adversely as he used to when they are wild or annoying. He gets embarrassed easily and angry when he sees them do immature things in public, like when we are around people at church or at their school.

But, that being said, it is usually good. Our Ukies each have 7 years of orphanage that needs to be purged from their systems. Maybe it will take 7 years. I don't know. We are in this for the long haul.

You all want to see pictures, so here's quite a few.


This summer, Sergey and I attended an airshow in Sioux Falls where we saw the Blue Angels. Sergey had a lot of fun and really enjoyed the airplane displays and aerobatics.











B-1 bombers are enormous. You can't appreciate it unless you are standing underneath one.

























All three of our kids had sports seasons that just ended. Mark was in cross country, Valya was in volleyball, and Sergey was in basketball.








One of Mark's cross country meets was on his birthday. Here the team is singing Happy Birthday to him, and praying before returning home. The team always prays after a meet.

This is the first time that Sergey has been in an organized sport. Besides new basketball skills, he had to learn things like teamwork, commitment, and sportsmanship. In the third picture, he makes a pretty decent screen. He has come quite a ways since playing basketball with me at his orphanage last December.






Valya loved volleyball, though she says that she would rather play soccer next Fall. Time will tell.



I wanted to include this picture because the girl that Valya's arm is around, her family is adopting from Ukraine soon. Can't say much about it now but it is very exciting. Nancy and I met with her parents a while back, and they told us, You know what sealed it for us? When we saw Nancy at the school for registration. Nancy, Valya, and Sergey were at the school before it started to register for classes and they had to wait in long lines. While waiting, the kids where hanging out, hanging on Nancy and just being affectionate. The family noticed that and made the final decision to adopt up to five older kids from Ukraine.



Valya and some teammates watch the varsity team play. Interesting tidbit I can share with you about Valya. I had no idea before but she is only half-blooded Ukrainian. Her mother was French and her family immigrated somehow to Ukraine. She remembers her mother speaking French in her home and still remembers a few French words. Interestingly, our last name is also French. Prêtre is French for priest. Curious about G-FY-G? Glorify God.



This summer, the kids had summer school in the morning, home by 12:00. Here they are playing a card game after school.



Here we are playing Dutch Blitz. Don't play it as much as I expected we would. Everyone has their own thing going on usually. The other night Valya and I were playing Dominoes, the first time since we were in Odessa.  I commented to her that the last time we played this game, we weren't able to talk together.  She remembered.



We were thrilled to have our friend M stop by last summer. She is a volunteer at Sergey's orphanage and she let us stay with her in Odessa last December while we were on our first adoption trip.




M has sat on the floor at Orphanage #4 countless times playing games with the children, like in the third picture below. It was strange in a way having her in our home doing it.





In anticipation of M coming to visit, our church's VBS week designated their offerings for her. Sergey was a VBS helper and is showing here that they exceeded their offering goal for her.



Kayla was a senior at Mitchell Christian and was a tutor for Valya after she arrived. She was interested in helping because she wants to work as a translator some day. Her dad is one of the teachers at the school and has been on several missions trips to Russia, and can speak it some. He was one of the few people who could speak to her when we got back because Valya couldn't speak any English then.



Valya is quite the drama queen. When she becomes really fluent in English I imagine she will want to get involved in drama in high school.



She is a country girl. When she was a young girl, before the orphanage, she lived on a farm with animals. Sergey, on the other hand, loves the city. I wouldn't be surprised if he moves to New York City when he finishes school. He loves the Yankees and he says he loves NYC. We'll see. He was thrilled when the Yankees won the World Series this year.  We had let him stay up later than usual on school nights so he could watch the games.





Nancy is also a country girl, through and through. Me not so much.



Valya, Sergey, and I took a trip to the Black Hills this Fall to see my mother and stepfather. She has a cabin that she visits several times a year. Nancy and Mark stayed in Mitchell because he had a cross country meet. The kids enjoyed watching the little critters like squirrels and chipmunks. One interesting thing, I don't know if it's true of all Ukrainians or just our kids, is that all animals they refer to as "she". Like the squirrel below, we would probably say It is cute, or He is cute, but both of our Ukies would say She is cute. Sergey set up a trap with a bird feed scoop, put bait in it, and patiently waited for a chipmunk to go under it. When one finally did, he pulled the string and trapped it. I told him he shouldn't handle it because it might bite him. Well he didn't listen to me. It did.







A short walk from grandma's cabin in the Black Hills is the McVey Wildlife Management Area. It is very beautiful.















While in the area we stopped at Mt. Rushmore. Valya had never been there before. We had taken Sergey there when we hosted him in August 2008.













We spent an afternoon at the historic Evans Plunge pool in Hot Springs. Sergey has a lot of upperbody strength and was doing pretty well with the rings. Valya only this summer learned how to swim. She is fearless in water now.



On the way home, we stopped at Wall Drug. When you are traveling across South Dakota on I-90, it is a welcome oasis in a sea of grassland. Here we were all being pretty silly.

Valya gave a presentation in school called Ukraine Traditions.  She described Ukrainian folk life.





Here is a video of a Ukrainian poem that she read as part of the presentation.  It is a poem about why the Ukrainian embroidery uses red and black threads.

Two Colors
Dmytro Pavlychko

When I, still young
Set out to go into
The world unknown to me,
My mother gave me a shirt
She embroidered in
Black and red,
In black and red thread,
In two colors, so poignantly dear
Two colors on the linen shirt.
Two colors in my soul,
Two colors,  so poignantly dear.
Red is love,
And black is sorrow.
Life took me to distant lands,
But I always came back.
The roads of my life
Are the colors on
My mom's shirt,
Intertwined,
Red and black,
Roads of happiness
And roads of sorrow.


I think this poem is fitting for Ukrainian orphans that are adopted and move to other coutries.  Though they become citizens of other distant lands, they are still Ukrainian and nothing will ever change that.  I remember once when I was being interviewed by the deputy mayor of Mikolaevka about Valya's adoption.  She had asked me if we would help Valya to always remember Ukraine.  I told her that while we could take the girl out of Ukraine, we could not take Ukraine out of the girl.  She liked that.  I blogged about that last December.

In this reading by Valya, you can hear her say Dva Kolori, Two Colors, several times.



When we were at Lifelight, Valya became friends with ALL of the Everfound band members, in fact, with their whole family.  They are Russian immigrants and live in Colorado now.  There are 6 children, 4 of which are in this band.  They speak Russian and opened their show with a song in Russian, which Valya knew from Ukraine.  They travel with the whole family so Valya got to know their parents as well.  She ended up working in their merchandise booth most of the weekend.  Now she has a picture of Yan and her on her nightstand.  He is about 1 month older then her.  She has all of their phone numbers but I don't think she has called any of them.




In August I joined our church praise team for a concert on Main Street here in Mitchell.



A couple of weeks ago we saw Michael W. Smith in concert in Sioux Falls.  Over the years I've seen him in concert many times.  This tour is by far his best one, in my opinion.  If he comes to your area, you should go.  On this tour they put together a choir of local volunteers to join him.  Nancy's sister Val and her daughter were in the choir.





A couple of weeks ago, Nancy's uncle Glenn passed away.  He was a brother to her mother, the youngest sibling, who also passed away a couple of years ago.  Glenn was a widower, and before Nancy's dad passed away in the year 2000, he had asked Glenn to watch over her for him.  So for several years Glenn was often around, staying with his sister and keeping her company before she passed away.  We've posted pictures of our kids with Glenn on our blog before here and here.





Glenn was buried at a country church, not far from De Smet South Dakota, where Laura Ingalls Wilder once lived and is the setting for some of the Little House on the Prarie books.





Valya and Nancy watch the commital ceremony.  She had never been to a funeral before.  Sergey didn't attend because he had a season ending basketball tournament.





I wanted to include the next two pictures to introduce you to two of our relatives, Jon and Jill Nelson, from California.  Uncle Glenn was Jon's grandfather, and he and his family were in South Dakota for the funeral.  Jon and Jill will be leaving soon for Ukraine to adopt one or two kids.  We have a link to their blog on the left.  We were surprised when they commented on our blog while we were in Odessa. We hadn't known then that they were pursuing adopting from Ukraine.  Jill is a correspondent for World Magazine.  In this picture, you can tell from her boots that she will fit right in with the other young women of  Ukraine.



Here is Valya with Jon and Jill and one of their kids.  We had a great time visiting with them at the hotel about Ukraine and our adoptions.

More on the Ukraine Epidemic

Interesting news clip from Russia Today. The toungue-in-cheek mention of Jurassic Flu refers to the fact that the H1N1 virus was resurrected from 1918 tissue samples, and the corpse of an Inuit Eskimo woman who died of the Spanish flu in 1918 and whose body was naturally preserved in ice. They did this so that they could determine the Spanish flu's genetic code.

A flu virus appears to be an amazing thing as it is able to mutate quite quickly. There is some discussion whether the plague that Ukraine is experiencing now is H1N1, a mutation, or something entirely different. One factor they are investigating is total hemorragic destruction of the victims' lungs, in some cases, which is more typical of a bacteria of some kind rather than a virus, thus they are calling it a pneumonic plague. They are also seeing airborne transmission paths, even through the eyes.

From an article on the CDC's website:

Influenza A virus is capable of rapid genetic change in mammals. Its polymerase complex lacks proofreading capability, such that one in five virus particles produced is likely to contain a change at one of its approximately 13,500 nt (9). If such a change provides the virus with a competitive advantage, that strain quickly replaces its predecessor. In humans, the need to escape preexisting immunity exerts positive selection pressure on changes in amino acids comprising the antigenic sites of the surface glycoproteins, HA and neuraminidase (NA) (6,10). The process of progressive change in the antigenic properties of the virus is called antigenic drift and results in the emergence of an antigenically distinct variant strain every 2–3 years. Between drift epidemics, the influenza virus appears to be antigenically uniform (11), but the degree of genetic uniformity has not been studied extensively.

This is pretty technical, but it is saying,

• 20% of flu viruses in mammals are likely to mutate,
• The mutation may quickly overtake the original,
• The presence of antibodies in humans encourages mutation,
• A new variant strain results every 2-3 years,
• The new variant is resistent to the antobodies of the original.

If you examine the history of the Spanish flu epidemic of 1918, there were small insignificant pockets of outbreaks around the world during the Spring, which eventually died off, but then in the Fall, a full blown pandemic erupted around the world and killed about 20,000,000 people in a very short time. I can only wonder, considering how mobile our society is now, how quickly something like this could suddenly appear all over the globe.

Ukraine Flu Epidemic

Amid hopes that the flu epidemic has reached its peak in Ukraine, there are reports that it may be worse than feared. I have seen several articles saying that the flu strain in Ukraine hasn't even been identified yet. This is not looking good. I feel for the families having to go over there right now. If you are going, be sure to take face masks with you, as they are near impossible to find there and people are price gouging what is available.

Ukraine and World Pneumonic Plague Information

Georgia President Wants to Impose a Quarantine of Ukraine (will close borders?)

OFFICIAL NUMBERS FROM THE UKRAINE OF SICK JUST RELEASED 11/17/09

Russian Article About Ukraine - Says Not Swine Flu

MILLION HIT BY 'PLAGUE WORSE THAN SWINE FLU'

Ukraine NARRATIVE: the perfect storm? but what is the TRUTH?

doctors learned why Ukranians dying

South Dakota Scene II

This time of year, the Mitchell airport fills up with private jets of the wealthy who come here from all over the United States to hunt South Dakota pheasants.

Here's another picture from last Saturday when I went pheasant hunting. South Dakota can be a very rustic place, but it has it's own kind of beauty.  I'm trying to pick out my favorite picture but I can't decide.  I have a couple more I think I'll post besides these then I'll get back to family stuff.

South Dakota Scene

Saturday, I took off by myself to do some pheasant hunting in a State game area 5 mi. south of Mitchell.  I flushed 3 hens, but no roosters.  Oh well, it was a nice day to be out and enjoy my homeland.  Here is a picture I took out there.  It is straight off my camera and not touched up.  This is a stand of sunflowers left for the animals with a barren tree line behind it, waiting for the winter snow.

Birthdays

August, September, and October are now our new birthday months, with each of our kids having a birthday then. Too crazy busy to post regularly, so as has been my pattern, I'll blog a larger post now and then. Here are some birthday pictures.

Valya turned 15 in August. She is almost exactly one month older than Mark, though two grades behind him in school. We get a lot of questions from her about why Mark will get to do certain things, such as drive (!), and she can't. Obviously we can't say it is his age, we just tell her it's because he is in 9th grade. When she is in 9th grade she can take driver's ed., too.

We had two parties for Valya.  The first one was a family one on a Fri. evening at Nancy's sisters house, with several cousins, aunts, and uncles.

Valya's birthday was the following Mon., a school day.  She had a few friends over for dinner and cake.

The girls did girlie stuff like makeup.

Let it not be said that the Pretre's don't know how to throw a party!  What birthday party would be complete without homework?

Even Sparkle was in the party spirit.

Later, our family gave Valya gifts and cards.

With her birthday money, Valya shopped for a dress over the long Labor Day weekend while we were in Sioux Falls for the LifeLight music festival.

Mark's idea of a good party is to have his friends over to play XBox Live and Facebook.

Mark thought it would be nice to wear a paintball facemask to the table.

Unfortunately, Sergey was sick for his birthday.  He had friends over for a slumber party but pretty soon he started to feel bad with a fever and so we had to send his friends home.  Like for Valya, we had planned to also have a relative's party for him at Nancy's sister's house, but he couldn't go.  So Nancy and Valya went up there.  Here is Valya with cousin Britta making a blanket for Sergey.

Nancy's sister Karen had given a doll to their mom as a gift.  She passed away a few years ago and Karen inherited the doll back again.  Here, she is giving the doll to Valya as her birthday gift.

Later, back home again, we gave Sergey his gifts.  Here I am, being very cool in Valya's cap and sunglasses.

Sergey loves the NY Yankees baseball team, so we gave him a Yankees shirt and a Yankees blanket that Valya made earlier.

The next night, he was feeling a little better so we had cake, and gave him the rest of his gifts.

Valya gave Sergey a card in Russian.  It even had his name printed on it.

The highlight for his birthday was his new iPod!

Sergey's Birthday Today

Today our sweet Sergey is 14 years old. Unfortunately, he has been sick for the last couple of days and we had to cancel all of his party plans. We'll try to reschedule something fun for him.

Thanks friends for the phone calls to Sergey. One of the calls he received today was from his classmate Andrey, whom some of you know. He was adopted by a family in S.C. and has been home for a couple of weeks now.

I have so much to blog about but it has been so difficult... I just finished a project at work where I had 100 hr. work weeks... Plus other life stuff, too. Hope to update y'all soon.

12 Children Are Adopted in Ukraine Every Day

On Ukraine's National Adoption Day, a new statistic has been released by the government, stating that 12 children are adopted every day, 7 by Ukrainians and 5 by foreigners.


12 children are adopted in Ukraine every day in 2009
National Radio Company of Ukraine

Kidnapping of Hosted Kids

Bad news reaching the internet tonight, a man who hosted 3 girls through Frontier Horizon is refusing to return them to Ukraine. Understandably, the Ukrainians are upset about this. He has no legal right to do this and is jeapordizing the future of hosting and adoptions from Ukraine.

Ukraine Says Local Man Hasn't Returned Kids
WFTV

Bootsie Is Gone

This morning one of our cats, Bootsie, passed away.

9 years ago we bought our first kitten, Patches, to keep Mark company, since he didn't have any siblings. Turned out Patches was lonely, so a week later we bought our second kitten, Bootsie. They've seen their world change since then - we've gotten our dog Sparkle, and have adopted our 2 Ukies. Mark has gotten older and doesn't spend time with the cats like he used to.



Last week Boots seemed normal, but in the last couple of days Nancy noticed that she had lost weight. This morning we found her laying down in their kennel and she was mostly unresponsive and cold. I scooped her out and put her in a box with a towel and took her upstairs for the kids to take turns holding her before school. Mark didn't want to hold her, so I put her in his lap. He really wasn't sure how to handle it. His cats were his buddies since he was 5.

Nancy and I took her to the vet the first thing this morning. The Dr. said that she would do a blood test and try to rehydrate her and warm her up, so we both left for work. About 5 min. later I got a call that she had passed away of kidney failure, but that there was a volunteer at the clinic holding and comforting her when she went, and she died peacefully.

The poor thing, she was only 9. I am surprised at my own grief today. She was my favorite of the two cats.

This is our last picture of her. I took it as we were leaving for the vet's. She died 1/2 hr. later. We love you Bootsie and will miss you...

Finally Met the Wolff's

This weekend we attended the huge LifeLight Music Festival in Sioux Falls, where we were able to meet the Wolff family from nearby Iowa. The Wolff's adopted 2 teen girls from Ukraine, in fact from the same orphanage as our son Sergey, #4 in Odessa. We had gotten to know the Wolff's last year through our mutual blogs and emails. Like us, they were stuck in adoption limbo when Ukraine imposed adoption quotas last year. They were a source of encouragement for us as we shared that difficult and frustrating period together. Then, with just a few days notice, they got word of their SDA appt. early last Fall. Their blog during their time in Ukraine was interesting, but they have since removed most of their material. However, they have left a few posts up, including the must-read post on The Lie, which should be required reading for all adoptive parents.

It was fun to finally be able to meet David, Cindie, Anya, and Anastasia. We all said we felt like we knew each other even though we had never actually met before. Ah the wonder of the internet!

Her First Birthday Party. EVER.

Monday will be Valya's 15th birthday. Tonight, we will be visiting Nancy's sister's family to have a birthday party for her with several of our relatives. We will have another party for her here at home with some of her friends on Monday evening.

I was tucking her into bed last night, and she was all smiley. She said, Today was good day. All day was good day.
Me: How come?
V: I don't know. Maybe because presents tomorrow.
Me: Oh you're happy about your party?
V: (Big smile) Yes...
Me: Have you ever had a birthday party before?
V: No.
Me: Not even before the intyernat with your family?
V: No.

Valya was seven when she entered the orphanage. Her previous family life was not good, but even so it took me by surprise that they never celebrated her birthday, not even once. The Andreyevo orphanage would sometimes have group birthday parties in the dining hall where they would have cake (tort they call it). But no decorations and never for just one kid. And no presents.

So tonight, we will add to her list of firsts by celebrating her, and while we're at it, her birthday, too.

First Day of School

School started for the kids today, Valya is in 7th grade, Sergey in 6th, and Mark is in 9th. The kids had a busy summer, and I must have too, because I didn't update the blog much. I will post again soon. I have pictures from the summer, plus Valya had a big day yesterday in Minneapolis where she took her citizenship oath. Will post more soon.

Summertime

Summer is in full swing here. I think next week we have all of the kids home again. I think they have all been home together only one week since school got out. And really that is just fine with them. Each of our kids, when they have been the only one here, have told us that they like it when they are home alone with us.

So far, Mark has been busy with 3 weeks of boy scout camp, a week of driver's ed, and a week of basketball camp. He leaves on Friday again for a church youth event in Missouri.

Sergey has been to a week of boy scout camp and a week of church camp.

Valya has been to two weeks of church camp and gets back on Saturday.

Sergey saved up his money to buy a new bicycle. We already had one for him, kind of a mountain bike, but he wanted this trick bike.



Valya saved her money to buy a new digital camera. She bought it while she was in Rapid City to attend a Quinceañera ceremony for Nancy's boss's daughter. It is pink, her favorite color, and she is "wearing" it in this picture.



Valya enjoyed the celebration and now she thinks that she should have a big bash like this one. She will also be 15 in August. She reminds us that if she were still in Ukraine she might be married when she is 15 or 16. She loved Sabine's gown and tiara.

We have new friends in Rapid City. Olia is also from Ukraine. She married a fellow that used to go over there on mission trips, and Olia was their translator. They fell in love, got married, and settled in Rapid. Olia is from Mykolaiv, a major city just to the east of Odessa. Olia commented on our blog while we were over there because she was very familiar with the area we were in. Valya often calls her to chat in Ukrainian. Olia has a new baby, #3, for them.




Here is a picture of Nancy and Valya at the party. Valya, like a typical Ukrainian female, is very fashionable. She likes to dress up, more so than the other girls around here. Her summer school reading teacher, and Olia, commented how pretty her clothes are. She will take odds and ends and make ensembles out of them. Here, she just took a scarf she had and wrapped it around her dress. And yes, she loves high heels. Not long ago, she convinced Nancy to buy some high heels, too.



Now that Valya's English is improving, she and Nancy have begun to have girl talks at bedtime. Valya wants to know things like first boyfriends, first kisses and other "secrets". Recently, I have been going through the birds and bees talks with Sergey. I know from the orphanage that he has heard it all, and maybe even seen it. But I'm discussing it with books from a Christian perspective.

Over the fourth of July, we went to a family reunion on Nancy's dad's side. Our Ukies "got" to meet lots of new relatives that weekend. In this group picture, these are mostly cousins, and there were some that weren't even there!



In the olden days, they liked to see the corn, "Knee high by the Fourth of July". Modern corn does much better than that these days.



Another relative that Valya met recently is Nancy's uncle Glenn. He is in a nursing home, and Nancy says that Valya was very tender with him.



Valya has learned to swim this summer and now enjoys the pool. I went down there with her once when the boys were gone and took a few pictures. She is a rascal; just as I would snap the shutter she'd make some face. I took about 10 pictures before I got a good one.







Sergey has been having fun talking with his former orphanage friends from #4 who are now with families here in America. He has talked with Grisha Fumia a couple of times recently. He has been in America for a couple of weeks now and lives in Mississippi. I got to know Grisha fairly well. I made sure I gave him a hug everytime I saw him, "for Ashley". Here is a picture of the two of them taken on Dec. 6, 2008, on one of our first days at the orphanage to adopt him. Somehow, I'd like these two to be able to see each other again.



I've been kidding with the Ukies about adopting 10 kids. In fact, I had even joked about that with Sergey while we were over in Odessa. Valya would be all for it; she really wants a sister. Sergey's isn't so enthused. If we had the money, I'd want to do it tomorrow.

Checking In

Just a quick post here to let you know that we're doing fine.

During June, Sergey and Valya were in summer school, which covered math. Next week, they start the July session where they will be studying reading and writing. We have had a private tutor for Valya, as well, for spelling and reading, and that has really been helping her.

Mark and Sergey have open gym for basketball, and Valya has open gym for volleyball. They are all looking forward to sports in school this coming year. Sergey also is on a rec league baseball team now.



Mark and Sergey were at boy scout camp all of last week. I did not go as I don't have much vacation time built up. I used it all up and then some during our adoption trips last winter. Nancy, Valya, and I did go camping down there last Friday night, though. Valya complained about sleeping in a tent, but I think she kind of enjoyed it. I marked it down as another first for her, in addition to the umpteen other things she does for the first time. For example, last month she let me teach her how to ride a bike, and now she loves it. Sergey, Valya and I went on a 12 mile ride a couple of weeks ago. We also got her into swimming lessons, and now she loves the city pool and goes as often as she can. Mark will be gone a total of 3 weeks at boy scout camp, as he is also gone two weeks as a councilor-in-training.

All three of the kids will be going to week-long Bible camp later this summer.

For the most part, we are keeping the kids busy with activities.

When we went to Rapid City a few weeks ago, I forgot my coat at McDonald's and I didn't realize it until the next day. When we went back to look for it, it was gone. The coat had our camera in it. I had some great pictures of the kids at Custer State Park and I lost them... very disappointing. Last week I finally got a new camera, so maybe I can post some pic's on the blog again.

Here's one from tonight at bedtime as we gathered for prayers.



We often pray for their friends back in Ukraine that they will get families. Valya says that sometimes the girls cry at night. When someone cries, her friends will crawl into bed with her. Sometimes there will be 4 in a bed... We also prayed for the Whaley's tonight. They took their son Sasha along with them to Ukraine on their adoption trip and he has run away. It is very sad. They are adopting two boys from Orphanage #4 in Odessa, whom Sergey knows.

Of Sergey's classmates that I spent time with last winter, I know of 4 that are now adopted - Karina Nasekos, Dasha Strainick, Grisha Fumia, and Lena Hoffman. How exciting to see them with families. 5 out of their 14 have left this year. It must be tough on the others.

Unfair

A big part of our responsibilities as parents is to teach our kids our faith. While we were finishing up the adoption process in Odessa, I was able to learn a little bit about their spiritual backgrounds.

I was talking with some people who had just returned from a trip overseas
and they could not stop talking about the people that they met -
people that we would describe you know, as "poor"
and yet they were struck with how filled with joy and peace
these people were
They said, "You know, at first we felt uncomfortable, you know, we have so much and they have so little"
but after awhile they started to wonder if in fact they weren't the ones who were actually poor
and so they said "We went to do a good work for them and yet we returned realizing that
we received more than we ever gave."

Both of the kids had been baptized into the Christian faith several years ago. Valya had a grandmother that had her baptized when she was little, and Sergey was baptized along with several other kids who were in a shelter before he arrived at Orphanage #4.

Success can be dangerous, can't it?
We get everything we wanted, only to discover that we're missing something that we had before.

After we came to America, I had asked Sergey about his faith, and did he trust Jesus as his Savior? He said yes, and I asked him how he came to receive Christ, since I have been to Orphanage #4 and I know it is anything but spiritual.

When we extend grace to others in their oppression whatever that may look like
we find out about the grace that God has extended to us.
So when Jesus talks about taking water to those who are thirsty
it isn't just about the necessity of getting water to those who need it,
it's about us being constantly reminded of the gift of water we've had all along.

He told me that Dana Defrees had prayed with him last summer when he was at camp. Wow! Dana is a teenager, and Pam is her mom. Pam has commented on our blog before, and has emailed me privately from time to time. They were on a short-term mission trip to Odessa last summer where they spent time with the kids, along with Grandma Lela.

This is ultimately about the far larger truth that if we each don't find some suffering
and do something about it, we may become miserable -
Our achievement, our education, our wealth, our time and our money -
they'll turn on us if we don't spread them around.

They have a blog called Passion for Ukraine, and it just so happens that the team is in Ukraine again right now! There are some pictures on their blog of Sergey and several of his classmates that I spent time with last winter.

Our lives are either more and more about us -
more stuff, more unsatisfying consumption,
or we're on a different path
and this is why Jesus talked so much about serving.

I am glad that the kids and adults are serving in this way. I am sure that in some cases, this will be the only opportunity that some of them will have to hear about the love of Christ.

May you find somebody who needs what you have
only to discover that they had what you needed all along.

There is a NOOMA video that talks about serving others. It just so happens that I got the link today in an email through Compassion International. I have interleaved quotes from this video by Rob Bell with mine because they go hand-in-hand. This is a powerful video! Will you choose to hang on to that which ultimately makes you miserable, or will you offer yourself to Him and be liberated?

Watch the video to see where the title to this post comes from.

"You Saved My Life"

When we were in Odessa, we visited a church attended by several college students and missionaries in Odessa. One of the American gentlemen I talked to was in Odessa specifically to minister to street kids. He told me that there are about 800 street kids in Odessa and the authorities mostly ignore them. That way they can sweep them under the rug and not have to admit the problem they have. He and a couple other people go out every evening at 10:00 PM and are out all night. I asked if I could go along sometime, but really, in the midst of our adoption process that really wasn't practical to be out all night. I regret not having the chance to do that, though. One of the times that Nancy, Mark, and I attended the church, one of the street kids actually attended the service. Unfortunately, he slept through much of the service. We were told he comes somewhat regularly.

Another reason I am interested in the street kids is because there was a boy in Sergey's class at #4 who was a former street kid and was severely injured in a tragic fire. He was sleeping in some kind of enclosure one night and some other street kids set his coat on fire as he slept. When he woke he had trouble getting out and was burning as he struggled. Somehow he survived and is now in the orphanage, getting treatment for his burns. We got to know him a little bit and noted his deformed hands and scars. He was always friendly to us.

I surfed into a blog of an American Presbyterian pastor named Robert Gamble, living in Odessa, Ukraine, who also has a ministry that reaches out to street kids called This Child Here. You may be interested in this ministry that is on the front lines in the battle for the Kingdom.

A couple of weeks ago, we were on a road trip out to the Black Hills to visit my mother who was visiting. We were talking with Sergey about his adoption and life back in Odessa, and he told Nancy and I that we saved his life. After looking at Pastor Gamble's blog, it is no wonder he feels that way.

Romaniv Boys Orphanage

Recently, Valya asked me if we could adopt her siblings. I was wondering when this day would come. She has four siblings back in Ukraine still. Two are already adults, but the other two are in two different special needs orphanages. They are twins, older than her. This situation was very difficult for us as we never felt like we could make them part of our family. In the end, the officials agreed, but the situation was very sad.

The other day, the Cornishes posted a link to this article about Ukraine's Romaniv orphanage. The article hits close to home for me.

Romaniv Boys Orphanage
by Barry Rodriguez
World Next Door

Answer to Prayer

Very good news today regarding Ukraine's possible moratorium on international adoptions. For "some reason", the vote just didn't show up on the parliament's calendar. We are thankful that Ukrainian children will still have another way to get families. I do not exagerate, I am sure there were thousands of faithful people around the world praying that this would not pass!

Capricious Ukraine

Word is getting out that this coming Tuesday, June 2, the parliament of Ukraine, the Verkhovna Rada, will be voting on a bill to cease allowing all foreign adoptions, except from Russia. Being this far away, it is difficult to know exactly what is behind it. There is certainly an element of national pride. No government likes to see its children shipped out to foreign countries. There is also an element of pro-West vs. pro-Communist/Socialist politics in Ukraine. The fact that Russia would be the only foreign country allowed to adopt seems very suspicious. As if that weren't bad enough, if the law passes, they say it will take effect immediately, and any families currently in Ukraine to adopt that haven't had court yet will not be able to continue. Think they wouldn't do that? Last year, they suddenly passed a law forbidding unmarried people from adopting. It went into effect immediately and all affected adoptive parents were not allowed to adopt. Our facilitator at the time told me about the women he saw at the SDA crying and pleading their cases to no affect. It is saddening to imagine having established a relationship with a child then being told they could not adopt. Now, we are on the verge of an even more serious development. Personally, I see nothing good coming from this, only bad, so let us pray that it does not pass and that President Yuschenko does not sign it if it does.

Here is an article in English from the Verkhovna Rada's official website.

The Fumia's are in Odessa now to adopt Grisha, a classmate of our son, Sergey. We put several pictures of him on our blog while we were at Orphanage #4. While we were in Odessa, I made sure I gave him a hug every day and I told him it was from Ashley. If this law passes next week, they will not be able to complete their adoption. It will be devestating, as they have been waiting 2 years to do this. Of course, they are not the only ones there right now. Among others, the Hoffman's are also there adopting another classmate of Sergey's named Lena. This is potentially a very grave situation. Ashley Fumia describes it in this post.

We were also minorly affected by the capricious politics of Ukraine last year. Though, it didn't seem minor at the time. About the time we finished our dossier, Ukraine passed a new quota on foreign adoptions for the year, limiting 2008 dossiers to 1,453. We did not make that cut and thought we were shut out for 2008. As it turned out, by the time October 2008 came around, they learned that they were coming in under the quota, so we suddenly found out that we made it in. We were fortunate; we had about two weeks to prepare, but some families had as little as 3 or 4 days notice to be there for their SDA appointment.

Nothing seems to ever be certain for long in Ukraine regarding adoptions. Please pray for this situation.


Here are a few pictures I took on a foggy morning in Kiev on Wed. Feb. 11 2009.

This is the parliament building, where the Verkhovna Rada, or Supreme Council, meets. On this day, they were in session and "friendly" policemen told me were I was allowed to walk. There is an Orthodox cross with a picture of the Madonna in front of the courtyard at the main entrance.




For momths, protesters were camped out in Independence Square, or Maidan as it is known there. At night, musicians would perform in front of these huts singing politcal songs. Basically, they are saying that Yuschenko's economic policies are a failure and they are demanding change in the national government.



On this day, Khreschatyk Street was closed off and a large, organized political rally was taking place in front of the Kiev City Hall. There are three main political parties at the national level, pro-West President Victor Yuschenko's Our Ukraine party, the socialist Prime Minister Yulia Timoshenko's Bloc Yulia Timoshenko, and the communist Victor Yanukovych's Party of Regions. None of them are getting along at all, and the Verkhovna Rada is the laughingstock of Ukraine because of their impotence. It appeared that there were hundreds or thousands of people that came in busses, as they were parked along the street forming a sort of barricade. Many of their bumpers were literally touching.



There were many colorful flags on display at the rally. Of note in these pictures are the white Bloc Yulia Timoshenko flags, the red Communist flags, and the blue and yellow Ukrainian national flags.

Marveling

We've been home with the Ukies for 3 months, but every once in a while I watch them and am amazed that they are part of our family.



The other day I was watching Valya walking down the hallway toward her bedroom, and it struck me how a year ago it was near impossible to envision her here. Back in Ukraine, I never believed that Sergey would be any problem to adopt, and he wasn't. Plus we had gotten to know him since he was Mark's penpal for awhile and we were able to have him stay with us for 2 weeks last summer. But Valya, she was a complete unknown. We hired a stranger in Ukraine to meet with her to find out if she wanted to be adopted... we waited anxiously to hear back from him... then were thrilled to get 4 small photos by email.



Then, when we were in Ukraine we didn't know for sure that we would be able to adopt her until probably 3-4 weeks after we got there... After we got word that all 12 or so of the officials in-region had agreed... I was talking once with our friend M in Odessa about Valya, and she commented how amazing it was that we came all the way from South Dakota and were plucking this girl out of the middle of nowhere in Ukraine. It was incredible - and still seems that way to me.

So, once in a while, I pause and take it all in, and marvel.