Thursday, January 29, 2009

"Do You Love Her?"

Today is Day 10 of our mandatory 10-day wait. Tomorrow, Friday, the judge's decree will take effect and the kids will be ours officially forever and NO ONE can take them away. Our facilitator arrives in Odessa tomorrow so that we can start the next round of paperwork. Tomorrow, we will get the Final Decree from the courthouse, which is the key for the rest. Next, we get their new birth certificates, then passports. Valya owns some property so we will try to deal with that as quickly as possible. After that we go to Kiev, for the US Embassy tasks, then home. Nancy and Mark are anxious for us to get home.

We have two children, Valentina and Sergey, and they are in two different orphanages, Sergey is at Intyernat #4 in Odessa, and Valya is at Andreyevo-Ivanovka. Andreyevo is 150 km from Odessa and it takes about two hours to get there from here.

I was able to spend this past weekend at Valya's orphanage. I had a really great time there. The Andreyevo orphanage is SO different from #4. #4 feels like a prison, while Andreyevo is more homey. In fact, it was a lot like a college dorm. It is much different from #4. Don't get me wrong, though, it is still an orphanage, and the kids are kind of on their own for the most part while they're in the dorms. I was very sad for the kids I spent time with because of their lack of families.

At Andreyevo, there are two dormitories, having two floors each, with two wings on each floor, for a total of eight wings. Each wing has four bedrooms, and each bedroom has 4-6 beds. I do not know how full the orphanage is, but you can do the math and see that there is room for 128-192 kids. Each wing also has a bathroom and shower room.

I had taken a bunch of food to Valya thinking that she would squirrel it away to eat after I left. But no, she kept opening things all day long on Saturday, and I believe it was all gone by Saturday night. She shared her food with everyone. She is very generous and very sweet. I had a chance to observe Valya in her environment, and I don't think there is anyone there that doesn't know her well. In fact, in many cases she seems to be someone the kids look up to. I can tell that she is well-loved by so many, and while they are happy for her, it will be hard for them to lose her.

I took my computer and camera along with me. When I first arrived, I showed them pictures of America, our relatives, and where Valya would live. They loved looking at pictures. Once that was done, they asked "Igra?" That means games. There are a few games so we set the computer up in a room and kids played games up until the time I left. Also, my camera was very popular. I just let the kids have it all weekend. The only time I saw it was when the battery was dead and it needed to be recharged. Same for my cell phone. It has a few games on it and it can take pictures. I didn't mind at all. I knew that they would get some great pictures as the kids would be themselves. They are not natural if I take them.

I was told by my facilitator that mostly Italians adopt from Andreyevo, and in fact, an Italian family was there at the same time as me adopting a boy. I had a nice time visiting with them at meal times. They had a 17 y.o. bio daughter with them. She hung out in our wing a little and the girls just adored her.

If you could meet the kids I met, you would fall in love with them immediately. I do so wish that all of you reading this would decide today to adopt from Ukraine. Email me, I can tell you about some of the older kids there.

Here are some pictures. All of them were taken by the kids at Andreyevo. I have no idea who took which.

When I arrived on Saturday morning, the kids were cleaning their rooms and their wing of the dorm. They had moved their bunkbeds out and were cleaning under them, and doing a lot of sweeping. In this first picture, the bunkbed is on the other side of the room. They put all in their place again shortly.

Looking at pictures of America. I downloaded copies of all of our digital pictures from back home onto this laptop, so there was a wide variety for them to see.

Spending time with Valya in her room.

Valya loves to dress up and be silly.

Valya also likes to dance. The first time we went to see her, the official at the orphanage was telling us a little about her. One of the things she told us was that Valya likes to dance. She wouldn't dance for me, but once in a while I'd catch her. The boys weren't as inhibited. Some of them are very good dancers and are quite athletic. Their DVD player also plays music, it was often playing music during daytime hours.

This view of the TV room shows how the bedrooms are situated. This is much different from #4, where the dorms are locked up tight all day and open only at night.

A week's worth of food I brought was gone in a day since Valya gave it all away, bless her heart.

They take showers in the evening here. Saturday night, a lot of kids took their turn. The kids take care of each other, there were no adults around in the evening.

The only time I saw an adult in their wing was when they had something they were supposed to get done or they were supposed to be somewhere, such as grupa or meal times. This lady was the one who always came around.

Each of the two days I was there, we all had to go to grupa, or an assembly over in the theatre. In each case, a couple of different classes would put on a short musical program. They were fantastic, I was wishing I had my camera. But the kids had it and it was hard to keep track of who had it. The theatre was still decorated for New Year's.

Evenings are TV time. The kids were still up after I went to bed at midnight. I think on weekends they are allowed to stay up as late as they want. But they still have to be up in the morning.

The computer was very popular with the boys for games, not so much the girls.

Anastasia wanted to practice reading English with me. She had the book Jemima Puddle-Duck. Their accent when they speak English is so cute. In the 3rd picture with Valya you can see me trying to help Nastiya with the th sound. It is difficult for them. Valya wants to say Mupher or Fapher, I have to help her with the th.

Waiting for breakfast. The dining hall is in the distance. You can see some kids already lined up. They enter by class. I wasn't able to figure out how they decide who goes in when.

It was in the dining hall where I first met this Italian family, shown with the boy that they are adopting. Their daughter, Nicoletta, knew a little bit of English and Spanish. I know some Spanish as well. Plus Italian and Spanish are similar enough that many words are understandable to the other. So with Spanish and the occasional English word, I was able to have actual conversation with them. They had prepared three dossiers before they got their SDA appt. They would be returning to Italy, and returning again to get Sasha. Their situation sounded just like ours. Nicoletta was very popular with the kids in Valya's dorm. Nicoletta braided Valya's hair for her.

I played soccer against my daughter! Well, it was a sock ball. We played boys against the girls and it was very energetic. Valya loves physical activity, I think she is probably a good athlete. I can't wait to get her plugged into sports at school in America.

I slept on this couch in one of the girls' rooms. It folds down flat. I had a rough night Saturday night. I woke up at 2 AM with a heavy burden for the kids. The place was quiet and dark. I laid their crying and praying for them. I finally got up and went to each bed in each room and put my hand on their beds and prayed for each child. Between sobs, I prayed that God would give them a family, protect them, help them to know Jesus, help them to make wise choices, and give them a blessed future and a spouse and kids of their own. One of the early visits we had with Valya and her friend Anya, they were talking about their future husbands. It was striking that for an orphan girl they dreamed of a husband that would provide for them. How many 13 or 14 y.o. American girls dream like that? I was up the rest of the night in the TV room reading the Bible on my computer and resting.

Hanging on the couch with Vera and Ira.

This is Alyona, 12 y.o, and she sleeps in Valya's room. She is a real cuddlebug, super affectionate, and was kind of my buddy while I was there. She was hosted in America last summer and will be again this summer. She knows some English. I really hope she finds a family. She is very smart and is a good artist. She drew a portrait of me and gave it to me. Alyona has been in the orphanage for 10 of her 12 years. She told me that her mother "never have her", and her father died in a car accident when she was 2. She craved hugs and touching, and I was glad to do it. How many hugs did your kids get in the last 10 years from a parent? Alyona, has gotten, oh, about 0.

This is Ira. She is lean and graceful, with a gorgeous smile, though you can't see it in this picture. The girls know the English word, beautiful, and they say of her, "she is beautiful". And she is, with a very gentle spirit.

Me and Valya's friend Luba. She always has a sly twinkle in her eye.

Sunday afternoon, Valya, Ira, Alyona, Nastiya, and I took a walk down to the pond, or ozyero, that is near the orphanage. Andreyevo is very rural and it must be beautiful there in the summertime. You may be wondering about the title of this post. We were standing around talking by the pond, and Nastiya asked me, pointing at Valya, "You loff Valya?". And I said yes I love her very much, and gave Valya a hug and a kiss on the top of her head. The girls all smiled. But it must have been killing them inside.

Alyona has a tender heart for spiritual things. She showed me her Ukrainian Bible and I asked her if whe would read John chapter 3 to me, and she did. I found it in the index, but it was kind of hard. It is spelled Oanna in cyrillic. I told her it was a very important chapter. We must be born again to enter heaven. Read it for yourself!

Here are some of the kids I found on my camera. As I said, I didn't take any of these pictures. I'm sorry I don't know all of their names. Most are from other grades and may even be brothers and sisters.

I was very blessed to get a glimpse into Valya's life here at Andreyevo. The kids are absolutely wonderful. I wish the adoption system in Ukraine made it easier to adopt these kids. It is a tremendous sacrifice for most people to come here. To those who have done it, doing it, and are planning to, THANK YOU. I know you are doing what you can. For the rest of you, will you consider it?

I leave you with another random picture I found on my camera. It's a perfect picture of a young man walking alone, head down, in the mist at the orphanage. Blessings to you.


Conethia and Jim Bob said...

What an awesome adventure you had!! Such memories that you have made. I pray you get those kids in your arms tomorrow without a hitch, that way you will never have to let them go again. Amazing!! Sending you blessings.

MoserUpdates said...

Thank you for posting all this information. My husband and I are hoping to adopt a child (or twins) from the Ukraine this spring. I've really learned a lot from your blog. I feel much more prepared. I think it will be very difficult to only take one or two children home! They all seem so sweet and fun :)

Debbie said...

Oh, they all need someone to love them so much, don't they? It breaks my heart that there are children in the world (here in the States and in all countries) who have been rejected. I want to scoop them all up and bring them home. I think I need a bigger house...sigh.

I'm very glad you have been able to spend time with these precious children. I am touched that you were able to pray for each individual one.

missyhope said...

Jim is on his way to Odessa. Maybe you guys will bump into each other. I think he is planning on staying at the clinic in Belgorod for the most part. Jim is arriving in Odessa Friday afternoon from Istanbul. We are hoping for everything to go smoothly. We will see. These photos that you have taken break my heart. There are so many kids who need a family. I am praying our adopted kids take up the torch for the future.

Jon and Janell said...

I too layed in bed there one night and sobbed for those kids. Therefore, it is with mixed emotions that I looked at your pictures. My girls were excited to see friends there. Some have changed so much in two years. Soon they will be older and have to leave to who knows where. That makes me sad. Our girls will be excited to see all your pictures when you get home.

Anonymous said...

I am excited to meet your new daughter and to see Sergey again.