Sixth Day With Sergey

(Friday 8/8) We had been planning to go on this Boy Scout camping and canoeing trip for a couple of months. When we found out that Sergey would be visiting during this time, we thought it would be cool if he could go on the trip. When Nancy got injured in that bicycle crash, we figured that was it.

But Nancy was doing OK and she insisted that we go.

So Mark and Sergey hung out for the day until I got off early from work, then we loaded up and headed out. The trip was to Lake Herman State Park.

When you get to a camp, the first thing you do is set up. Gear needs to be hauled and tents need to be set up.



When we met at the gathering point before we left, Sergey was a little shy (amazingly). But by the time we were done setting up, he was mixing nicely with the others. The boys had some free time before campfire, so most of them fished. I forgot our fishing pole at home, but the other boys were great at letting him use one of theirs.



The boy scouts welcomed him warmly into the troop. They were very interested in his country and were often asking him the Russian words for various things. Sergey, however, was not cooperative in this regard. He refused to tell them anything about Ukraine, and almost never told them the Russian words for things when they asked. I was disappointed for the other boys, because they were genuinely interested. I think Sergey so badly wants to be an American, or at least act like one, that he doesn't want to stand out as a foreigner. Or it could be that he's 12.

At campfire we had skits and songs and stories, followed by smores and banana boats. He liked that.

Sergey slept with me in the tent.



Mark is doing OK with Sergey but we are now seeing some adjustment going on. We think he is trying to get this all figured out. We all knew that when we adopt there would be an adjustment for this only child, and it is happening. Sergey always gets the attention when we introduce him to people. Plus, Mark is naturally reserved, while Sergey is outgoing and silly. The expression, "the honeymoon is over" comes to mind, but that is too strong. There is just some adjustment going on.

Back home, Nancy was invited to friends for dinner so I didn't need to be worried about her Fri. night.

Fifth Day With Sergey

(Thursday 8/7) Well this day didn't turn out like we would have hoped. This was a down day that turned into a downer day.

The kids just hung out all day. Did some bike riding and playing with friends. In the evening, I had a meeting to go to. Nancy, Mark, and Sergey were riding bikes to the pool. But on the way, Nancy and Sergey collided and Nancy fell off her bike and got hurt. She has a broken wrist, a cut above her eye that required stitches, and is all banged up with bruises and scrapes.

A neighbor saw it happen and took Nancy and Sergey to the ER. We only live a couple of blocks from the hospital. Sergey stayed with Nancy keeping her company until I could get there. We stayed and watched the doctor and nurses tend to her, then we all went home at about 10:00 PM.

Mark had been riding ahead of them and didn't see it happen. The neighbor went down to the pool to tell him. He stayed at a friend's until we got home.

Nancy is doing OK, but she will need orthopedic surgery on Monday to repair the fracture.

Fourth Day With Sergey

(Wednesday 8/6) This was our first full day in Mitchell. We went on a long bike ride to Dairy Queen for lunch. Sergey LOVES to ride bike. And he LOVES ice cream.

Later, Sergey joined Mark and his friends for XBox video games. One of the games I've learned he doesn't like is Guitar Hero. I thought he would love it, since we all do. But, interestingly, the hand-eye coordination that is required is not quite there.

Later, we went to the Mitchell pool. I needed to see for myself Sergey's swimming skills, since we have a Boy Scout camping trip this weekend with canoes. He can't go in the canoes if he can't swim. But I was glad to see that he has no problem swimming and is not afraid of the water.









After swimming, the middle school boys basketball team from Mark's school had an open gym time. Sergey loves basketball. We had about 20 min. of warmups, then we scrimmaged full court with 5 on 5 teams for 40 min. During warmups I gave him a few tips for dribbling, shooting, plus some defense. He took it all in and I saw him using the techniques during the scrimmage, and he even made a basket. He is a fast learner.



At bedtime, we've been reading through the gospel of Luke. We've gotten through the first two chapters now.

Third Day With Sergey

(Tuesday 8/5) Now I need to spell Sergey's name as Sergey and not Sergiy and not Sergei. His passport has it as Sergiy, but he wants it Sergey. Well OK then.

Our third day together was our last one in Minneapolis. We traveled by car from MSP to Lake Norden, South Dakota, where Nancy has some relatives, so Sergey got to meet some of them.



After supper of hamburger and Sergey's favorite, corn, we were off to Mitchell, and home. Sergey said about the day, "Too much car."







All of the nights since we got him have been late ones. We are looking forward to a little more normalcy and routine for at least a little while.

Second Day With Sergiy

(Monday 8/4) The day started late. Everybody slept in from a very long day before. I had Sergiy help me make ranch-style scrambled eggs with toast and fruit. I don't think he had ever made scrambled eggs before. He had told us the previous day that he likes his eggs with sugar! I'm pretty sure he won't be getting them that way while he is with us.

The boys played Wii for awhile before heading out to Valleyfair. We got some lunch at McDonald's, where the boys played in the playland. According to the sign, they were too old to be in there, but oh well.





Thankfully, the weather cooperated for our day outside. Most of the day was cloudy, which is perfect when you're at an amusement park.





Just as I suspected, Sergiy was fearless on the rides. He went on everything with reckless abandon! I've been there with American kids his age that were too afraid to go on some of these rides. But not Sergiy.





Once when we were walking I saw some teen girls looking at something and screeching then running away. I went over to see what it was, and here it was this mouse, a young one as it turns out. Of course, Sergiy was wondering what I was looking at, and he came over and as soon as he saw it he snatched it up lightning quick. His reflexes reminded me of our cats. He had no qualms about picking him up. Of course, one can get into trouble without a little discernment, so we will be working on that while he's with us.



We stayed until the park closed. We were literally the last ones out because they shut the barricades at the entrance behind us as we left. The reason was because we were waiting in line at the go-carts and it was taking forever. We were the last ones on. The park was closing before we even got on them!

Our day there was an unforgettable one for me. I am glad we were able to bless Sergiy in this way. I don't know what the future holds for him, or if we'll be able to adopt him, but it will be a day that I will always treasure.

First Day with Sergiy

(Sunday 8/3) The day started with a 4:45 AM wakeup call at the hotel in Minneapolis (MSP). I got on the airport shuttle at 5:30, in the air by 8:00. Flew 2 hr. 15 min. to Sergiy's city, and met him and C. at the gate. It was nice to finally meet her and to visit a little, but we didn't have much time, as they were a little late getting there. It is a big airport. It was also nice to meet Sergiy. :-) BTW Sergiy informs me that his name is spelled Sergiy not Sergei. So sorry. I'll fix it on the blog soon. I was very surprised at how well Sergiy speaks English. Only occasionally does he have to pause when he is trying to explain something. C. and her family have been paying to have Sergiy tutored in English back in Ukraine, plus he has lived with them since June 19.

On the plane ride back to MSP, we visited, looked out the window, looked at the map of the US to see where we were, ate, goofed off, looked at a book about Odessa that I brought, etc. I have heard from many that Sergiy likes to joke and that is definitely true. He likes to pull your leg.

At the airport, Nancy and Mark met us. Nancy had a banner made, which embarrassed Sergiy. But I think he liked it, though. ;-)



We took the airport shuttle back to our car at the hotel, then headed over to the Mall of America, which is right next to the airport. It is an enourmous mall, I think the largest one in the US. I believe there is a larger one in Canada somewhere, but MOA is in this Phase II thing to add on, to reclaim the title of the largest shopping mall in the world.



Anyway, they also have a small amusement park in the center of the mall. We wanted to do a test run to see how well Sergiy handles rollercoasters and such before going to Valleyfair. Let me say he is fearless and loves them.



The MOA also has an aquarium, so we got to see sharks and stingrays and other sea critters. We also got to pet some stingrays and little sharks. He loved that.





By 8:00 we were all tired out, so we got a quick supper at Boston Market and headed to our niece Sabrina's house. We are staying with her and her husband while we are here in MSP. Just as we expected, Sparkle was glad to meet Sergiy! Sabrina and her husband are the ones adopting from Chile.

Mark and Sergiy are getting along well. This morning Sergiy was jumping and laying on Mark to wake him up.



Today, we all slept in, will be heading over to Valleyfair for some "serious" rollercoasters. Unfortunately there is a 30% chance of thinderstorms or rain showers today. I hope the weather cooperates.

Look for Me

I'll be wandering around the airport looking for you!

Mitchell Bound

This afternoon, Nancy, Mark, and I will drive up to Minneapolis. Tomorrow morning, I fly out to bring Sergei to us. For a variety of reasons, we will actually be flying in and out of Minneapolis rather than Sioux Falls. We will spend some time up there doing some tourist things, such as the Mall of America and Valleyfair amusement park. On the way home, we will be stopping through Lake Norden, so Sergei can meet some relatives, then back to Mitchell on Tuesday night. If I have internet access, I'll post during the trip, otherwise it'll have to wait till we get back.

Sergei Is Coming

A few days ago I blogged about the surprise we had regarding Sergei. Sergei is being hosted in the United States this summer by a very special family. I mentioned how the situation is so confusing, and I was able to get it figured out. I think.

I called the person at Frontier Horizon and introduced myself, explaining our relationship with Sergei, and how we were very surprised to learn that he was being hosted in the US this summer, since he wasn't on the list to be hosted.

Apparently, FH had made arrangements for some other kids from Sergei's orphanage to be hosted for the summer. But suddenly the orphanage director said that they would require Sergei to be hosted as well. So FH had to scramble to find someplace for him to go, and they didn't know how to reach us. So they turned to the family that hosted him last December.

Fast forward then to early July, when out of the blue, the family tracked us down. They are so kind and are a wonderful Christian family. Together, with FH, we worked out a plan to have Sergei come see us. So this Sunday, I will be flying out to their city to pick him up and bring him back. He will be here for a little over two weeks.

We were able to talk to him on the phone for the first time. Just to hear his voice was so precious. He knows some English, and is learning more every day. We will have a very full schedule for him. I don't think he will get bored. I will be taking several days off from work.

Sparkle is anxious to meet him. So are we!

"Walking" With Sparkle

Well, we've had Sparkle for almost a month now. We are new to this dog ownership thing. Of course, she needs to go on "walks" several times a day. You could say Sparkle "walks" in the same sense that a housefly "flies" - seemingly random and not straight for very long. Nancy and Mark are out of town for a couple of days, so I get walking duty. This is how it goes:

Me:	Sparkle, do you want to go out?
Sparkle:	Is it time to go out?!! Is it?!! I'm ready! Let's go now! Hurry up! Open the door! Let's go in the car! I want to go in the car! No?!! OK! Let's walk in the street now! Stop! I hear something! Someone's pulling out of their driveway! Let's watch! I smell something! Over here! Hurry up! Now let's go over there! I'm going #1... no, yes right here! Hey look at that! Hurry up! Let's go over there! Did you hear that?!! It's a dog! He's on the other side of that field! Let's go through that field! No?!! Wait!! There's some tall grass! I want to eat some! Now let's go! Wow smell that?!! Let's go see! It's a dry turd! Let's sniff it! Ow! Don't yank so hard! OK hurry up! Stop! What was that noise?!! Oh well let's go! I'm going #2 right here! What's the matter?!! All finished! Hurry up! Hey there's a grasshopper! Let's catch him! Wait I smell something! Let's go see! Here it is! It's a dead toad! And so on.
Me:	I want to go home.

Next week, Sergei can take her on walks. Oh, did I mention that Sergei's coming to visit us? More later.

No Longer a Children Donor

Found some hard numbers on 2008 Ukrainian adoptions. According to Yuri Pavlenko, the Ukrainians are having success at encouraging domestic adoptions over foreign adoptions. So far in 2008, for the first time, there have been more domestic than foreign adoptions.

	Domestic	Foreign	Total
1st half of 2007	821	893	1,714
1st half of 2008	1,010	642	1,652

The government also reports that 834 children have been placed into foster care so far in 2008.

2.5 thousand children adopted by new families
All about Ukraine Blog

Lazy Boy

Man, I'm lazy updating our dossier. It just keeps getting more and more whacked. Ideally, we wouldn't see any red or yellow in the spreadsheet, but as you can see there is plenty of it. We actually do have some updated documents in hand, but I haven't sent them in for the apostilles or sent them over to Ukraine. From reading other blogs, it looks like there is time for that when we get a submit date, so we should get some warning. For now, I'm just gonna save the money. To date, since July of last year, we've spent $4,700 on these adoptions, and we have absolutely nothing to show for it yet. :-(

If you want the spreadsheet for yourself, you can get more info here and a link to download it. There have been 37 downloads so far.

Flip Side

We American PAP's moan and groan about how long it takes to adopt Ukrainian orphans. Anybody that has followed Ukrainian adoptions since the NAC days, then the SDA, knows that the adoption process has several times been halted as the Ukrainians review the process, make adjustments, and start up again.

From my perspective, the SDA is kind of this black hole, doing things that are difficult to understand. Today, I was glad to find this surprisingly candid forUm post from 2006 that featured Yuri Pavlenko, the Minister of Sport, Youth and Family, which is the parent organization over the SDA.

He gives interesting tidbits of information, such as (paraphrasing):

• They are not sure what happened to all of the missing reports by American families that Americans claimed were filed, but Ukrainians didn't have them. (One of the reasons that foreign adoptions were halted was because the SDA was complaining that foreign families weren't sending their reports they committed to).
  
  
• In 2000, there were 2,200 domestic adoptions. In 2005, there were 1,500.
  
  
• 18% of Ukrainian families want to adopt.
  
  
• 3,000,000 Ukrainians want to become adoptive parents for 93,000 orphans.
  
  
• The problem is not the Ukrainian people, it is the government that is not letting them adopt, taking up to 6 years.
  
  
• Pavlenko would like Ukraine to ratify the Hague Convention. The banning of middlemen in the adoption process is their workaround for now.
  
  
• They have a 10-year plan to move kids from larger orphanages (300 kids) to smaller orphanges (50 kids) in their area of birth.
  
  
• 3,000 Ukrainian families have applied to form family homes, but the government has only approved 600.
  
  
• Orphanage directors support orphanage reform.
  
  
• The government is turning to the private sector (business) to help with orphanage reform.
  
  
• The government regularly performs inspections of the orphanages. Pavlenko says that the number of violations is decreasing.
  
  
• 10 to 15 kids living in a room looks horrible to foreigners. And "it is horrible."
  

I'm sure many would argue with him over his views, but I thought it was interesting anyway.

Ukraine's Minister for Sport, Youth and Family Yuri Pavlenko on Current Situation in the Orphanage System and the Adoption
forUm
October 5, 2006

Finding Family

Came across a newspaper article that includes Heidi and Felix Rogé. The Rogé's are currently hosting, and, like us, are waiting to get their dossier submitted to the SDA. (That is NOT them in the picture)

Finding Family
By Amber Baker
The Reporter-Herald, Loveland Colorado
May 10, 2008

"God Made It Easy"

If you are interested in Ukrainian adoption stories, you MUST read this one. If you are working on an adoption, and the hassles are getting you down, go back to it.

Here is a snippet:

"Would you like to meet her?" our translator asked. Chris nodded. One of the women in the room left to find the girl.

I realized at that moment there was no turning back. How could a couple introduce themselves to a child and then reject her? That would be heartless.

The door eased open. Tanya was, as they described, gorgeous. Someone in the room instructed her to sit down. She hung her head, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

One look at Chris and I knew she would be our daughter. If it's possible to see the moment someone falls in love, I had watched it happen.

Through an interpreter, we inquired about her interests. One of the handful of people in the room asked her about her dreams for the future.

"I want a family," she answered, barely above a whisper.

A Chosen Family: Where Love, Longing and Need Meet
By Kim Hone-McMahan
Beacon Journal, Akron Ohio
May 11, 2008

Ditto on that Scanner Thing

In Michelle's blog post "Thank God for scanners", she mentions that she scans all of their dossier documents.

We did the same thing. It is the way to go. The first time you work on a dossier, you really have no idea what you are doing. Our facilitator, Oleg, has templates of the documents on his website. Those are indispensible, but after you get them filled out like you think they should be, you will invariably find that something is not filled out just right. What we did was scan the documents as we got them ready, BEFORE the apostilles, then emailed them over to Ukraine for review. Oleg and Dima looked them over and emailed us feedback for things to change. Most changes were little, but apparently very important. The medical forms were especially troublesome. They took several rounds of revisions until we got them right. I can't imagine actually mailing the documents back and forth to get them right. Ick. Once they gave us the thumbs-up, we sent them to the SD Secretary of State's office for apostilles, then UPS'd the originals over to Kiev.

As I blogged before, our documents in the dossier are expiring. We are slowly replacing them with updated versions. I'm kind of dragging my feet on getting them sent over, though, since there is cost involved and it seems needless at this time. There is very little hope of getting our dossier submitted this year, even though we are wanting to adopt older kids.

Blogrolls

Just got done changing the links in our blogs to blogrolls. I was finding that it was just too time-consuming to check the various blogs for any updates. Now I can tell at a glance if there are any new posts. It took a bit of effort, though, to get that done, that's why I didn't do it sooner. There are some blogs that don't have what they call "feeds", so they don't update and they show up at the end of the lists.

If you're a blog author on Blogger you might consider making the change as well.

I also rearranged the order of the links so that those in Ukraine or about to go are near the top, since from looking at the blog traffic it looks like those are the blogs that most people jump to.

"A God Thing"

"After 3½ years of paperwork, squabbling and travel, the family has adopted Simon and Sarah, Ukrainian orphans."

Adoption experience of a family in Bend, Oregon.

New Language, New Culture, New Family
By Sheila G. Miller
The Bulletin
June 15, 2008

Sparkly Clean

Sparkle got her first bath last night! Now she is sparkly clean! She also got a sparkly new flea collar! Do you like exclamation marks?!! Sparkle likes exclamation marks! Life is one big exclamation mark when you're a little doggy!

Hosting Confusion

A few days ago we had a nice conversation with... THE FAMILY HOSTING SERGEI FOR THE SUMMER!

What a mess of confusion.

Frontier Horizon thought we weren't interested anymore because... we didn't adopt him. Sergei thought we weren't going to adopt him because... we haven't come over to get him. The family thought... I'm not sure what. They were as confused as anyone. They just suddenly found out that Sergei needed a host home because "that family from South Dakota isn't adopting him." We found out he was being hosted for the summer by the same family that hosted him last December and we didn't know their intentions. Ugh.

Then they made the effort to track us down and called us. Thank you thank you!

Those of you that know Sergei will understand, I'm sure, that anyone who spends time with him will want to adopt him. By all accounts he is such a great kid. It came as no surprise to us that the host family is interested in adopting him, or maybe I should say was, after talking with us.

Now if you were in our shoes, what what you have said to them?

This is what we said: We want to adopt him, but Ukraine is so unpredictable that we cannot guarantee Sergei that WE will be able to adopt him. If you wish to proceed with adopting him, please do so. I've blogged about this before. What if we don't get that referral? It's possible. Who knows. You know us, if it were up to us, we would have been there last May to get the kids. But it isn't. In telling them to pursue him if they wish, it is not because we don't care about him. It is just the opposite. He will have more of a chance at being adopted if the other weren't able.

I must say that the family was very gracious and kind. And if you're reading this, which I expect, please know that we very much appreciate the concern that you have for Sergei. We both have a desire to see Sergei in a family of his own, no matter which one it is.

One other thing we are excited about is that there may be a possibility to meet him this summer. The host family would like that. Please pray for that option for us.

Wanted: Home for a Doggy Orphan

Once again I have been shirking my blogging responsibilities ;-) Mark has been bugging me to blog about the new addition to our family. But first...

We spent the long 4th of July weekend at the Skoglund family reunion in Lake Norden, SD. We stayed at John and Shirley Larson's Bed & Breakfast on the shores of Lake Norden. The picture in the corner was looking out our room's window. We highly recommend staying with them when you're in the area. We took the WaveRunner and tube along and gave rides to the relatives that wanted to.

Here's a picture of Mark at the Lake Norden spillway.



Here's me, on the left, in a quartet singing the hymn, To God Be the Glory, with David, Doug, and Dean. Thankfully, we don't have audio, because the tenor stunk!



Nancy and her 3 sisters grew up on a farm near Lake Norden. Their parents have passed away, and the farm has been sold, but her sister Valerie and her family still live on a farm there. Seems like there is always cats and kittens at the farm.



As part of the reunion we went on a wagon ride.





Now about that doggy...

Mark's cousin Sabrina took in this little dog from a family that didn't want her anymore. Her name is Sparkle and she's three years old. So she brought her to the reunion hoping to find someone to adopt her. Well it just happened that Mark has been bugging us for a dog, and we were wanting to get one anyway so that the kids we adopt from Ukraine would have one... So, now, Sparkle has moved to Mitchell. She joins our two cats, Patches and Bootsie. Here's a picture of Sabrina giving Sparkle to Mark to take home!



Sabrina and her husband, Boyd, have started the adoption process for adopting 3 kids from Chile.