Goodbye to a Classmate

Wow I am behind on my blogging again! You would think that being on my own in Ukraine there would be lots of time, but surprisingly, no.

Today is Day 7 of our 10-day waiting period. Sergey had been counting the days since court and was sure that we would be going to America on Friday. I had to disappoint him by telling him, that no, after the waiting period comes yet more waiting as we do more paperwork. "Soon," I told him, "remember how many weeks it has been since Karina had court." And about Karina...

Even though it is Monday, I want to post about last Friday. As is customary, I visit Sergey's Orphanage #4 for a couple of hours each weekday. Last Friday was a special day, though, because it was the day that the Nasekos family was taking Sergey's classmate, Karina, out of the orphanage for the last time. They threw a going away party for her. As you can expect, it was a bittersweet time. Older children, I think, realize that their time is running out for a family. They put on a happy face, but inside I know that it is painful for them. You may have moved, or known someone who has, and experienced the sadness of saying goodbye to a friend. It is that, and more for the orphans, since in many cases, their friends are their family. The years accumulate, a friend leaves, and they wonder, "Why not me? What's wrong with me?"

Sometimes in the blogs you'll read something like, "Today we sprang so and so out from the orphanage." Well, I just don't think it is that simple. Someone once said that the hardest part of an adoption is the day that you watch 100 eyes watch you leave.

I won't share too much information about the Nasekos family, because that is their place, not mine. You can see their blog post. I will only say that Karina put a lot of thought into how she wanted her party to be. I know she has seen her share of them.

The kids had a nice time, and I count myself privileged to have been able to be there to share the Nasekos' joy. I was also able to be a somewhat neutral observer of the saying goodbye to a friend. There was a girl in particular who had to watch her best friend go.

While I will be thrilled to take Sergey home, I will probably be an emotional wreck when I have to say goodbye to these dear children. I have gotten kind of close to a few of them in these last two months that I've been visiting #4. I've seen them on their good days, and their bad. I see that children are the same everywhere, desiring love and security from a family. Oh! how I wish that I could be sure that they would get one someday... Almost all adopting families want small children... The chances for older kids like these of being adopted are almost 0... I know that, but they don't... And they hope...

The other day I was telling someone that Ukraine has a way of making the powerful feel powerless. No matter what status you have in America, or how many people jump at your command, it means nothing in Ukraine. I'm not saying that I'm powerful back in America, because I'm not, but I just want to fix everything, and I can't. But the Bible says that in my weakness, I am strong. Because God starts where I end. This is where I find myself. At the end of me and the beginning of Him. Let His name be praised. Not mine. I think that's the way He wants it.


Here are some pictures from Friday.


Quite by concidence, upon arrival at #4 we ran into Dr. Vincent Rosini, the CEO and Chairman of the Board of the hosting organization, Frontier Horizon. Both Sergey and Karina were hosted out by FH last summer. FH graciously approved our hosting Sergey last August in a complicated hosting situation. I was surprised how well Dr. Vinny knew Sergey and Karina, recognizing them immediately. He even knew who I was even though we've never met before. He was glad to see Sergey and Karina with families. Dr. Vinny was at #4 working out details for hosting next summer.



Sergey and Andrei helping to put away some donated clothing.



Preparing the table. The kids were very careful to ensure that everyone got the same portions.



Grandma Lela, an American missionary, came to the party. Here she is shown with Luba. Grandma Lela has been a faithful advocate for the children, ensuring that they get medical care that the administration would otherwise not provide for them. Lela has prayed for Karina to have a family ever since she was in 1st grade. She also shares the gospel with them and her Odessa church helps them after they age out of the orphanage. I thank God for her.



Orphanage #4's 6th grade class. Three of the kids were missing - in the hospital, I think.



Karina and Kristina with their primary supervisor, Nataliya. Grandma Lela said that years ago they had another supervisor who yelled at the children all of the time. Lela confronted her over it, but it didn't help. Lela says she "prayed her out" and Nataliya replaced her. The kids love her. The first day we came to Odessa to see Sergey after our SDA appt, the first picture he wanted was of him with Nataliya.



The table is ready, time to gather.



Saying a prayer before the meal. Before the prayer, Karina spoke, and each of the kids said something to Karina. Nataliya gave an emotional message. She has been with her almost daily for several years. Matthew gave a short gospel message through an interpreter, then prayed for the kids.



The Nasekos' brought gifts for all the children, Karina was handing them out. Little Eva, the orphanage director's daughter, suddenly appeared. She always seems to know where the action is!



Here's a picture of Luba that I love. She has a beautiful smile. She is more introverted and pensive than the other kids, and is kind of a loner. She reminds me of me. Maybe that's why I connect with her. The other kids are sometimes unkind to her. Today (Monday), I had to get after Sergey for something he and a couple other boys were doing. All of the earthly possessions the kids own are in their closet, like you see here, often in only a shoebox.





Playing games, loud music, and fun, even a little dancing.



Time to clean up. It ALWAYS amazes me how responsible the kids are. They work very hard and don't have to be hounded for anything.



One last visit with Karina. Karina is Sasha's best friend. She's the one in grey. I've been told that Sasha is a champion rock climber. I think she is the champion of the whole Odessa region for her age. I guess they have a climbing wall at the orphanage. Today, when I went to #4, Sasha was sitting by herself on a little chair in the dark next to a window that overlooks the front entrance. She looked very lonely. At the time I just waved to her and said hi as I went past her. Such is the male in me. But now I regret that. I'm going to try to think of a gift to take her. Maybe some flowers. Alyona is the girl on the couch. She very badly wants a family. She has won awards for singing and knows some English, since she was hosted in America last summer. One day back in December, when we had Mark along, we were sitting on the floor and Mark was reclining against me and I had my arm around him. Several times I caught Alyona looking back at us. It was very pitiful. Sheila Nasekos had told me that she was having a difficult day that day. Here Luba is dancing to the loud music.



On her way. Today is Karina's day! Last hugs and they're off. I watched them walk down the long hallway to the exit so that I could see it from this side. Next time, we will be the ones taking that long walk. I'm already praying about it...

Seventeenth Day With Sergey

(Tuesday 8/19) Unlike my trip out to get Sergey, this time he was flying by himself from Minneapolis back to the city where his summer hosting family lives. The flight was direct without any connections, and the airlines take really good care of unaccompanied minors, so we didn't have too much trepidation about his flight.

The flight left on time at 6:55 AM. We were so busy taking the shuttle to the airport, checking in, going through security, and checking in at the gate that we really didn't have too much time to just sit and dwell on the fact that this was it for us, at least for now.

I know he was sad to leave, and we were sad to see him go. He had asked us, can't he just stay in America, and I said no, they would put me in jail if I didn't send him back.

I guess Sergey is lucky that there are two families that love him. But it is tough on him. Will he have to choose between us and them? Our advice to him is to go with the first family that comes to Ukraine for him. It might be us, or it might be them, or it might be someone else completely different. But for his own sake, if he really does want a family, then the best thing is to go with the sure thing. I would hate for him to turn down some family to hold out for the other, only to find that they can't or won't be coming at all.

Goodbye Sergey, it was great getting to know you. We love you and we hope to see you again real soon.

Sixteenth Day With Sergey

(Monday 8/18) This was Sergey's last day in Mitchell, and was also the first day of school for Mark. We thought Sergey would be interested in going to school with Mark. We had made arrangements with the principal and Mark's teachers for Sergey to be there. But in the end, he really didn't want to go, so he stayed home with Nancy until lunch time, when they met Mark at school for lunch.

In the afternoon, it was time for him to pack for the trip back to his host family again. We bought him another little suitcase that he could take back to Ukraine with him. When he arrived in the US, he had nothing, only a super small backpack. Interesting way to travel internationally.



Mark had cross-country practice after school and wasn't able to come home, so once more Nancy and Sergey went to the school so Sergey could say goodbye to Mark.



I got off work early so that I could take Sergey to Minneapolis. He had a very early flight so I wanted to stay overnight there. Nancy and Mark stayed in Mitchell.

In the car, Sergey played Gameboy and computer games.



We arrived at the hotel in Minneapolis at about 9:30. It was straight to bed as we had a 4:30 AM wakeup call.

Fifteenth Day With Sergey

(Sunday 8/17) Sunday is church day. Nancy and Sergey went to church at Northridge Baptist, Where John Tolly is the lead pastor. Mark and I went to our own church, First Reformed. After church, we met the Tolly's for lunch at Pizza Ranch.



After lunch, we all spent the afternoon swimming at the Mitchell pool. The Tolly girls had fun trying to catch Sergey in the pool. It was impossible; he is a very good swimmer.

Since Sunday night was Sergey's last night in Mitchell, we just relaxed and watched a movie together. Then early to bed for everyone since school started on Monday.

I want to tell you about something else Sergey did while we were at Pizza Ranch. After we had eaten, we adults were sitting around and visiting, but the kids were over in the arcade watching and playing video games. Nancy had given Sergey several quarters to play the games, and he eventually came back asking for more. Nancy told him no, no more that was enough video games, but he begged for just one more quarter. She gave in and he disappeared for awhile. Later, he came back with this silver ring for her. He had gotten it out of one of those gumball machines that gives out those little toys. You know what I mean. He had taken that quarter and purchased the ring. Of course Nancy loved it.



In fact, just today she got the ring back from the jeweler's. She had it mounted on a pendant. When Nancy explained the ring to him, he did it for her at no charge. Very nice of him.

Fourteenth Day With Sergey

(Saturday 8/16) Didn't have much time to waste in Rapid City. We needed to get back to Mitchell. But Sergey did get a chance to swim for awhile in the hotel pool with several cousins. Afterward, we went mini-golfing at Pirates Cove with some other cousins.







On the way home, we stopped at Wall Drug for some souvenir shopping. Sergey picked out a couple of South Dakota trinkets to take back to Ukraine with him.





Finally home after a long day of traveling and time for bed.

Thirteenth Day With Sergey

(Friday 8/15) This is the day we decided to climb Harney Peak. I tried and tried to convince Sergey to come on the hike with us but he just didn't want to. So Mark and I did it ourselves. Sergey stayed in Rapid City with Nancy and helped the relatives with wedding preparations.

Here are a few pictures of our trek. The day was drizzly and overcast. Harney Peak is high enough that at the top we were up in the clouds. It wasn't ideal conditions but it had its own beauty.











I was initially disappointed that Sergey opted not to go on the hike, but afterward I realized that God knew that Mark needed that one-on-one time with me. Nancy and I could both tell that he had changed after our time together.

At the wedding, Sergey was on overload with meeting our relatives. He was initially cranky, but afterwards he was back to his usual self.



There was something touching that happened with Sergey during the reception. The wedding was done and we had just finished eating supper at the reception. Sergey pulled Nancy aside to a quiet corner and I could see that they were talking about something but I didn't know what. Later, in the car, on the way to the dance, Sergey asked me what he had asked Nancy earlier. He had asked Nancy, and now was asking me, to promise or vow to adopt him. He had seen the vows between the bride and groom and thought that would be a good thing to do. This wasn't him being silly, which he often is, but he was quite sincere. I try to put myself into his shoes. He has no money, no earthly possessions that he could offer us to earn it. It is simply a hope on his part, that we would love him and come for him. Asking us to promise is the only thing he is able to do.

Kinda like when we come to Jesus.

Twelfth Day With Sergey

(Thursday 8/14) We left Mitchell for Rapid City to attend a family wedding Friday night. If you don't stop, it takes 3.75 hrs. by car. Sergey's opinion of traveling by car has changed since we picked him up. Now he doesn't mind it because they play computer games and gameboy in the car (yes we make them read books too). I'm sure traveling by car in Ukraine isn't nearly so "luxurious"! Also a few breaks along the way helps, like the cool rest area at Chamberlain with the Lewis and Clark exhibit, and Wall Drug.



We were late leaving home and so that messed up our plans to hike Harney Peak that day. Instead, we went to Mount Rushmore in the evening. It worked out OK though, since we got to see the lighting ceremony, which is kinda cool.